Bonding is such a talked about thing in adoption. Before we brought Matthew home, we wondered how it would go, if he would attach to us, how we would know if we were bonding. It's kind of funny to think about it so much, because in other relationships, it's not something you plan, it's something that just happens as you spend time together and care for each other and get to know each other. I am realizing that bonding with our child is no different, and that has eased a lot of the anxiety for me.
It's been very interesting to think about this last week, though. I would have to say that before Matthew even came, I felt a bond with him. I prayed for him, thought about him (all the time!), wondered how he was doing...but I had not even met him yet!
And then I met him, and I felt a strong, immediate bond. He is my child, and I am his mommy, and to me that brought feelings unlike anything I have ever experienced before. Strong feelings, immediate feelings of protectiveness and love and a desire to take care of him the best that I could.
Over the last few days, though, a different kind of bonding is starting to happen. I am starting to get to know him! For me, the bond has changed already, deepened, as I spend time with him and find out who he is. I pray that he is starting to feel attached to Brad and I, and that he feels safe and secure with us.
Here are a few of the things melting my heart these days as I get spend time with my little man:
I love the way he puts his hands on my face and stares at me while taking his bottle.
I love the way things randomly make him laugh...like when I was opening the curtains yesterday and they wouldn't open all the way and I said, "Oh no, they're stuck!" and he just cracked up! So of course I said it 100 more times to hear that laugh!
I love the way he stops crying as soon as I pick him up out of his crib in the middle of the night and falls right back to sleep.
I love that he is ticklish on his toes but only if you are pretending to pick sock lint out of his toes, not if you are really trying to tickle him!
I love it when he reaches his arms out to me.
I love that when I get up in the morning, I realize that I have missed him, even though it's only been a few hours!
And I love love love seeing this smile!
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We are so blessed!
9 comments:
Absolutly you are blessed. What an angel! Sounds like bonding is a for sure thing!! ;-) Glad things are going to great.
Boy are you blessed! He sounds like an amazing little boy! Congratulations on being a mom.
Aww, he sounds like such a sweet boy! Being a mom is awesome!
oh you're melting my heart!
tears....
I had all the same feelings about bonding before the boys came home. We are having the same experience... it just has come natural and grows stronger each day. I know there are parents and children out there who really have a hard time, I'm glad that we have not been one of them.
i love seeing you as a mom! He is adorable!
Rachel - all of those little (But so NOT little) things are what I was just hoping for you and thinking about for you when I knew he was on his way. Because I knew you would be just blown away by the beauty of it all.
So sweet! I lvoe the pictures you post!!
Oh man! I love how you and Brad are just so good at what you do. With so many parents unsure of themselves, you guys seem to be naturals.
We had so much fun with you yesterday!
What an awesome post -- glad to hear you guys are bonding and just enjoying your days (and nights!) together.
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