Good Things Are Happening!

Despite the sickness that kept us stuck in the house for almost a week and a half, there have been some really good things going on around here.

The adoption: We are making progress! We are working away at gathering documents for our dossier and had several notarized this week. I love having a big checklist of thing to work on. I think the hardest part of adoption is just sitting and waiting....at least for now I have something to do! I am thinking of my girl so much every day. Another post on that soon!

The boys: This has been literally bringing me to tears this week. I don't know what has happened or changed, but it's like Matthew has finally accepted that Nathan is here to stay! He has been really sweet to Nathan this week, hugging and kissing him, speaking kindly to him (I must remind him to do that several hundred times a day it seems!) and playing nicely with him. It may not seem like a big deal, but honestly it is just such a huge answer to prayer and brings so much joy to my heart to see the love that is growing between them.

Nathan: Just when I think, "Wow, he is really settled in and doing so well!" he shocks me again - learning and growing in amazing ways, and acting even more at home than ever :) He has been very happy, waking up smiling and giggling, and talking up a storm! The speech therapist commented today that he has changed so much just in the last two weeks since she last saw him. He is starting to put two words together quite often. This week he said, "Yes, Dada", "Dada Truck", and "Bye-bye Daisie!" I am continually surprised by this little boy. Yesterday he sat for 40 straight minutes on the couch playing with cars. He was so happy and just kept arranging them in the box.






Notice how he turned them all facing the same way and lined them up all straight? So funny!

Matthew: This boy is growing up so fast. I almost can't stand it...and yet I love it at the same time! He is so much fun to talk with. He says the craziest things, and has such a hilarious personality. The other day he did a 35 piece puzzle by himself. I'm pretty sure that any day now he's going to be smarter than me.

Life with two toddlers is anything but dull! Today I walked in the living room and sighed.

Matthew looked up at me and with the most serious face you can imagine said,

"I needed to blow my nose."

Some days I just can't believe how blessed I am to be spending my days with these two little ones. It is hard, and most days when Brad gets home I head straight to the bathroom, kitchen or bedroom for just a moment of solitude :) But I wouldn't trade it for anything in the world!

The Ups and Downs of the Week

March has never been so warm and beautiful! We spent the early part of this week outside in shorts and t-shirts enjoying the sunshine.

Nathan had a blast playing with bubbles (thankfully my sister gave the boys an awesome bubble machine so I did not have to blow all of these bubbles!)

Matthew's new favorite game is "Hide and Seek". He counts to 10 at the tree, yells, "Here I come, ready or not!", and then runs around the yard looking for the "hider" - usually me or Brad since Nathan doesn't quite get it yet. I can see that next year the boys will have a lot of fun playing this together.





Nathan absolutely loves being outside. He would live in the backyard if I would let him. With no shoes on. He loves to run, loves being dirty, loves the sandbox, loves to swing...all of it! It is great for him to be able to run off some of his energy, too!

This week my parents bought a cottage less than 30 minutes from our house! I am so excited to see them more often and to have a place to "get away" to once in a while.

My Dad and Mom were here for a visit this week. It was good to spend some time with them. My Dad has been facing some real challenges lately having several surgeries on his eye, another one scheduled for this coming week, and it was so good to see him and get to spend some time together. It is hard seeing someone you love face difficulties. I am so thankful for my Dad's example of faith and trust in God no matter what lies ahead.


The week ended on kind of a down note. Poor little Nathan has been sick, the sickest he's been since he joined our family. It's nothing serious, just a fever and cough and total miserableness, but it's so hard to see him not feeling well. This little guy literally does not stop moving from the moment he wakes up till the moment he goes to sleep...unless he has a 103 degree fever :(

We are hoping that Matthew won't catch it (he's been well for over 3 weeks now - I can't believe it!!!!) but he has been showing signs that he's coming down with it, too (itchiness and red splotchy skin is his telltale sign).

For the moment, all is quiet, no one needs anything from me, and I am going to watch an episode of Downton Abbey (anyone else loving this???) and have a slice of warm bread fresh from the breadmaker. A good end to a long day!

What's Next in the Adoption Process?

We are smack in the middle of "The Great Paperchase of 2012"...gathering every document you can imagine, filling out stacks of forms, and getting very familiar with our Notary :) We quickly realized that the process for adopting from China is quite different from Korea. After going through the process twice for Korea, my brain works quickly when I see acronyms such as EP, VI, VP, HSTK, NVC In/Out, and of course the best one of all: TC! (Travel Call!).

Now we're starting from scratch with lots of new letters. PA, LOI, LID, DTC, LOA, and the one that I'm sure will be my favorite: TA! (Travel Approval).

I know so little about this process but we've signed up for the crash course! We're taking it step by step, learning little by little, and trying to not be overwhelmed by the sheer volume of paperwork involved in this adoption. I must admit, I'm pretty proud of myself for how organized I'm staying...so far. We'll see if this keeps up :) Today I sent off two important envelopes. One had our formal application and a bunch of other paperwork to our placement agency, and the other had the (huge 20-page!) formal application and about 10 attachments to our local home study agency. Phew! What a relief to have that out of my hands.

What's next? Well, more paperwork of course! We hope to begin our home study soon, and while that is going on we will be gathering our documents for our dossier. This dossier is a compilation of records that tells China about us, our family, our health and our finances. We did not have to do this for Korea and at first it seemed a bit daunting, but I'm sure if we just work away at it step by step it won't be too bad.

Most of all....I am getting really stinking excited to get our girl home! It has been a process for me to get to this point, I think because first I felt such shock, and then fear and overwhelmedness (sure, it's a word!), but now I am feeling such peace and excitement. I can't believe we are waiting for our daughter!

A Great Week!

I kind of feel like it's hard to follow up my last post :) I thought maybe it was time for some pictures!

This is Nathan just over a week ago, all bundled up to play outside:

We have been blessed with beautiful weather for the last several days. Today the boys were playing outside in shorts and t-shirts! Crazy! It was a strange winter, very mild, and now it feels like summer already. I am not complaining, that's for sure!

One of Nathan's favorite things these days is swinging...even if the swing isn't in the tree...

Love this boy and his smile!


Enjoying some pears...

Brad cut Nathan's hair this week and then I came in the living room and found Nathan giving Brad a haircut :)

Another favorite outdoor toy:


Another boy I love...with another great smile :) He is feeling SO good these days (except for the headaches - wondering if they might be from his 2-year molars that are just making their appearance?). I am so glad we had his tonsils and adenoids removed! He was so loud before when he slept, snoring and stopping breathing for scary long periods of time. Now, not a peep! He is starting to sleep through the night sometimes (thought we'd never see the day!) and has not had a sinus infection in 2 weeks! Hip hip hooray!

The boys are really starting to hang out and talk to each other more and it's so cute. This week at the playgroup we attend for Nathan's speech, they both wanted to swing together.

We have a pretty good schedule going these days. We usually do something out of the house in the morning, then come home, have lunch, watch Caillou together, and then the boys take a nap. I love seeing them sitting together (and I'm so thankful that Nathan will watch t.v. for short periods of time now!!! HA!)


It has been a really great week, filled with lots of playing outside, smiles, hugs, and oh yes a huge dose of paperwork for Hannah's adoption. China adoptions are very different from Korean adoptions, but one thing is the same: it will be worth it in the end! Looking at these pictures reminds me of that even more :)

Ready For Some Big News? It's a GIRL!

I have been waiting to share our amazing news for what feels like ages...in reality it has only been 17 days. It's a story that has been months in the making, but somehow it has still been such a surprise to us. Where to begin?

How about with the best part?

We are thrilled to announce that God has blessed us with a daughter!

She is 7 months old, waiting for us in China, and we will be calling her Hannah.

We are already so in love with our little sweetie!

I know I'm kind of biased, but seriously, aren't those eyes amazing?

I have thought and thought about how to make this story shorter, but I think it's just going to be a long one :)

Our journey began back in January I guess. You may or may not have noticed that our transition to two children was not exactly the easiest. I think it will go down as one of the hardest times of my life. But the thing is, we made it to the other side. We survived, we became a family, and I can't imagine my life without my little Nathan :)

There was a time during his transition that I really wondered if we would ever adopt again. I just couldn't imagine being able to handle any more children. Like, ever. I had always thought we'd have a big family but I thought maybe we were at our max :)

As things gradually got better, though, I found myself wondering. Maybe we could have another one. Down the road, of course! Brad and I started having discussions about it and he flat out told me that I was not to bring it up until Nathan had been home a year (that would be in June of this year). Okay, then! I trusted his judgment and left it at that.

Until...

One day I read a blog. They're dangerous things, those blogs. For years I have been following along several blogs of people adopting from China. It had always been a thought in the back of my mind that one day we would adopt from China. When I clicked on this blog back on January 26th, a little guy's picture was posted, and she was sharing that he needed a family. Just a click away was a photolisting of so many precious children waiting for families.

One little 6-year-old boy caught my eye. He reminded me so much of Nathan, I couldn't get over it. My heart was so broken for all of the children waiting for families. Why not us? I thought. Sure, we are tired. Yes, we've had to pay for 2 international adoptions in the last 3 years. Okay, so our house is kind of...cozy. But hadn't God met every need along the way? Hadn't He provided for us financially even when we had no idea where in the world we would get the money to complete these adoptions? The answer was such a resounding YES! I knew that if He called us to it again, He would provide in every way.

So late one night, I tentatively brought it up to Brad. I thought for sure he would be mad that I was even bringing it up again. That man...he continues to surprise me. Not only was he not mad, but he was willing to look into it more. Within a few days we were seriously talking about adopting again. Woah.

We inquired about the little boy, but a family had already committed to his adoption (we were so happy to hear this!). In a way I felt a sense of relief. Phew, off the hook! But the feeling of urgency in my heart just would not let up. We could be a family for a child. I wrestled with God about it, not knowing why I felt so led to look at photolistings night after night after night. I didn't want to....but I just had to.

We ended up inquiring about 5 or 6 children altogether, at several different agencies. Every time we found that someone else was already looking at the file. We continued to pray and talk, wondering what God wanted us to do. The last file we asked about was with Nathan's agency. We let them know that down the road we might like to start another adoption and we were open to adopting from China.

By the middle of February, I felt like maybe God was just saying "wait". I felt a sense of relief in a way. I was really okay with waiting!

On Monday, February 27th, right before dinner, I said to Brad, "I think we just need to wait. I feel like I've been pushing too hard. Maybe we should just work on trying to sell the house and after we move we could adopt again." He said he had come to the same conclusion, and that was that.

Except that it wasn't.

At dinner Brad asked me something about the weather so I grabbed my Ipod to quickly check it. I noticed I had a new email so clicked to see who it was from. My heart just about jumped into my throat as I saw that it was from Nathan's adoption agency with the subject:

New China SN Baby (SN means special needs)

Of course I couldn't wait another minute to open that one up! I opened it, and inside found a message about a new file they had received of a little girl born in July 2011 in China. They said she had the same ear condition as Nathan; did we want to take a look?

Take a deep breath, Rachel. :)

I looked up at Brad, read him the email, and I believe he rolled his eyes and said something along the lines of, "Oh brother!". He said it with a smile, though, and in my heart I knew it meant, "Oh brother we are adopting another child RIGHT NOW!"

Over the next few days we reviewed her file, saw our pediatrician, talked with the audiologist, prayed, and I wrestled with God over the long list of "concerns" I had. A girl??!?!?! I have no idea what to do with a girl! We will need a mini van....our house is too small...I'm so tired...we have to go to China?!?!...how will the boys adjust...

And on and on it went.

But I knew what God was asking. Would we be her family? Would we trust Him?

We decided that the answer to both of those questions would be YES! He had brought her to us, and with His help she would become part of our family!

We are so thrilled, although honestly a little overwhelmed, to be "in the waiting" again. I think this is the closest thing to a "surprise pregnancy" that I can imagine! It has been a real shock. We are so blessed and cannot wait to hold her in our arms.

Which, by the way, will hopefully be sometimes between December of this year and March of next year :)

We submitted our request to adopt her, filled out the first stages of the MOUNTAINS of paperwork we have to do (seriously, way more than Korea I think) and today received word that we have PA (Pre-approval) to adopt Hannah! We were told this would take 1-2 weeks. It took 2 days. Holy smokes people, here we go!

So that's our story. If you've stuck with me this far, you deserve a medal! Or a cookie! We look forward to this new adventure of becoming

A FAMILY OF FIVE!

AAAHHHHHH!

Ramblings and Getting Over It (Mono, that is)

I can't believe that tomorrow marks 9 months since we first met our sweet boy Nathan. In some ways it hardly seems possible that there was a time when he wasn't part of our family. In other ways, the months have flown by and I can't believe that we are at the 9 month mark! He has changed so much and is such an amazing little guy. I have loved seeing his personality blossom these last few months. He is really bright and has blown us all away with how quickly he is learning language. I am in the process of filling out his 6 month inventory about how much he understands/says now for the speech therapist and it literally shocks me to see how much he has learned since getting his hearing aids. He is putting 2 words together quite frequently and yesterday when my sister arrived he said, "Dada...Matthew....bye-bye...choo choo" which was his way of explaining to her that they went downstairs to play with trains! The other day he made the "s" sound when saying a word for the first time, which seems like not a big deal but it REALLY IS! We have been working on this one for ages and he always just blew air out his nose :) To hear him make the sound at last was so exciting! I am so proud of him.

As I realized today that Nathan has been home for 9 months, I also realized that I have been dealing with mono for 9 months. UGH. I have to admit I severely underestimated how yucky mono can be. I mean, you think of having a sore throat and being tired and it seems like that shouldn't be too bad. But the problem is that it feels like you have strep throat all the time, and body aches like the flu all the time, and you're exhausted to the point where you just want to lie down all the time. That doesn't go too well with having two busy little toddlers :) It has been discouraging to feel so bad again these last few weeks, so I am determined to take it easier and try to rest more. It's just hard - it's not like the laundry does itself, or the dishes magically get cleaned...don't I wish! Don't get me wrong, Brad helps out a LOT, but the poor guy is very tired when he gets home from work and I really can't expect him to come home and take the kids off my hands and do all the housework. So I feel that constant pull to try to keep up with the house, be a good mom and do stuff with the kids (they have watched a lot of tv this winter and I feel pretty guilty about that one), and yet take care of myself so I can get better. I have decided that every afternoon while the boys are resting I will make myself sit or lie down and take it easy. It's strange how hard it is to do that! I feel so lazy but I know it is what I need to do right now to get better.

And yet all I can think of is IT'S SPRING and the weather is beautiful and I want to take the kids to the park and the zoo and go for walks....oh dear oh dear, praying I am able to find the balance between what I want to do and what I should do to get well!

Flying Solo

What a week! I just have to say, I am pretty tired out. On Saturday, Brad got a call saying that storms were coming to our state and he needed to pack a bag in case they needed him to go and work in another area. Sunday morning came and sure enough, he was called away. He was gone until Wednesday afternoon, and although that doesn't sound like a very long time, with the two littles keeping me busy the days felt very L-O-N-G!

It really wasn't as bad as I expected, though, thanks mostly to my sisters and dear friends. Sarah came and stayed with me one night, Joanna came and helped with bedtime and made me dinner, and other friends had us over for dinner as well. It was wonderful!

The boys were rock stars and were really well-behaved.

Well, except at 3am pretty much every night. But what's new there? :)

We stayed nice and busy, doing lots of fun stuff like painting...


...and playing outside! We have had some amazingly beautiful weather this week and I am so grateful for that. Check it out - no coats!

Nathan was really subdued all week and I could tell he was missing his Daddy. When Brad walked in the door you should have seen the two of them run to tackle him- it was so great! They would not let him out of their sight the rest of the night.

It's so good to be all together again :) Just the way it should be!

I Think We're On Our Honeymoon

I often hear people talk about the "honeymoon" after adopting. Things go well for a while, maybe for a long time, before reality sets in and it gets difficult.

With Matthew, the honeymoon started the moment he was placed in my arms. It was love from that moment on, and our bond just grew and grew. I couldn't get enough of him; I would leap out of bed in the middle of the night thrilled that I got to see him again.

The second time around, it was different. Looking back I really wouldn't say the bonding process was worse, just different. Me and Nathan, we have something special now. We have a love that was forged through hard times, tears, struggle. It is a deep and secure love that I know can't be shaken. That little boy has captured my heart and he is a part of me.

But a honeymoon? We didn't really have one of those.

Until now!

I think we are finally on our honeymoon :) Nathan has me wrapped around his little finger these days. I smile every single time I walk into a room and see him. When he gets up in the morning and I hear his little voice calling, "Mama!" my heart does this funny little flip, and when I pick him up and his arms squeeze around my neck I think my heart might burst with joy. The days of struggle seem so long ago and life is just so good now.

I thank God so very much for the blessing of this little boy! He has taught me so much about love and I will never be the same because he is my son.