Little Girl Gifts

Hannah's birthday is coming up in one week.  Her first birthday.  I could go on and on about how hard this part of adoption is, missing really important stuff in your baby's life, but then people will feel compelled to try to cheer me up about it by saying things like, "She'll be home before you know it," and, "You'll get to celebrate all her other birthdays."  True statements, but they don't really fix it and at the moment I'm not feeling much like being cheered up.  Sometimes it is just hard, that's how it is.  

I did something today that cheered me up a bit - I bought her a gift! 

I don't think I've ever bought a doll before.  I looked and looked and looked and finally found the perfect doll for my sweet girl.

I love it because, obviously, she's Asian :)  And also because she is wearing a headband, and Hannah will probably be wearing a headband (we hope that a BAHA hearing aid will work for her and she will wear it on a soft band like Nathan used to).  Plus, it's just a cute doll :)

We were thrilled yesterday to be able to pick up our FINISHED home study!  I had one copy authenticated (basically the state level saying that the notary really is a notary I think, to show that the document is authentic?) and then sent off three copies to our placement agency.  They received it today and should be sending in our I-800a soon!  This is basically us asking the US government for permission to adopt and bring Hannah home.  Once we get this approval our dossier with all our important documents will be on their way to China!

I keep doing the math over and over again, but it never helps because there are so many variables.  My best guess right now is that we will travel next January or February...but we know God is able to do anything so she definitely could be home sooner :)  Nathan came home much sooner than we anticipated, and we are praying for the same this time.  Things do "feel" different to me this time, I'm not sure why - this adoption has seemed more difficult, pushing through challenges, things taking longer than expected, and in my heart I have peace about it not being till next year, though I truly hope it is sooner.  

Is it weird that I will be stalking the mailman, not only for adoption news, but also for this little doll to arrive?  :)

So Proud of My Boy!

A year ago he didn't have any words. We were told that he said a couple of Korean words but we never heard them (or maybe we just didn't know he was saying words since we don't speak Korean!!!!).

 A year ago he had only been wearing a hearing aid for a short time, and we had no idea what to expect. I purposefully didn't set expectations, determined just to celebrate his progress, to not compare him to other kids or to worry too much about where his speech was. Truth be told, I didn't know what to expect because this whole journey is new to us!  Don't get me wrong, we have worked hard this year, giving Nathan every opportunity to learn and practice language.  But I haven't worried about it, haven't stressed about him catching up.

I have learned so much from this last year of watching him grow and develop.  He is such an amazing little guy!  If I'd had any expectations, he would have exceeded them by far!  We are thrilled with how much he is saying, and lately I have been amazed with how clearly he is beginning to say words.  He is starting to say the ending sounds to his words and it just makes me smile every single time.  He is speaking in two to four word sentences, repeating everything we say, and his vocabulary has exploded!  We are so proud of our little guy!

I thought I'd show you a short video of Nathan saying my new favorite word: applesauce.  I make him say it all the time, just because he says it so clearly now!  I love hearing his little voice :)


 

Inside is the Way to Go!

It wasn't your typical July 4th celebration, but when we heard that it was going to be over 100 degrees outside we decided to plan an inside trip.  Things like the beach aren't so great when you just end up with an itchy uncomfortable little boy :(  But this turned out to be the best move we could have made!  Brad had the day off and we headed to the Henry Ford Museum for the day.  

The boys were amazing.  Like, as in, "Who are these children and can they stay cause they're so well behaved!" kind of amazing.  Not a meltdown in sight.  Just two happy, lovely boys.  

Actually, make that three happy, lovely boys :)

Brad was very excited to see all the displays, and especially the race cars.  It was so fun to see him enjoy everything so much.  

My favorite part of the day was lunch :)

Matthew and Nathan were overjoyed to see some huge steam engines!  A whole area dedicated to trains...I thought Matthew might pass out with the excitement!  We had to visit this area twice of course.

I'm usually pretty stingy when it comes to buying things at places like this, but Brad found this machine that made little wax trains so the boys got a special treat.  They were so thrilled - I love it when the simple things just bring them so much joy!

I am loving this age, and enjoying the boys so much these days.  They are just really fun little people!

Wishing I Knew

There is one thing that pregnant women have that I really envy.

A due date.

This wait is getting to me.  Or, more precisely, the not knowing is getting to me.  Not knowing how much longer it will be.  Not knowing if it will be this year, or next year.  Not knowing how old she'll be.  Some days, I just wish I knew.

Most days, it's really okay.  Time is flying by - can it really be July already?? - and I know that even though the months stretch out ahead of me and Hannah being home seems impossibly far away right now, the day really will come.  

And of course, I have these two little guys filling my days with smiles and keeping me plenty busy...

I can't help but think, though, of a beautiful little girl halfway around the world.  I wonder what she is doing, if she is loved, if someone held her today and looked in her eyes and told her what a treasure she is.  I can't wait until I get to be the one telling her!

Little bits of "girl stuff" are starting to pop up around our house, a gentle reminder of all that lies ahead. The other day Brad and I were at a consignment shop and while I tried on some clothes, Brad wandered around the store.  When I came out of the dressing room, he was holding this:

I love that man!  I love that he wants her home too.  I love that he's excited to be Daddy to a little girl.  I love that he will dream with me of the future, wondering what it will be like.  I love that he's willing to leave the door open to bringing home a sister for Hannah in the future :)  Or maybe another brother. Or both!  I love that writing this post made me smile and sigh as I think of our daughter.

We may not have a due date, but our time will come!

We have been waiting for this for, oh, three short years :)  It was time for a night away, just me and Brad...

...and no children!

It seems crazy that it's taken us this long.  Trust me, it's not that we were that worried about leaving them.  But with Matthew being so sick all the time, and then Nathan coming home a year ago, it just had never seemed like the right time.

But we knew that with our trip to Korea coming up in just a few months, we needed to start getting the kids ready for us being away.  It was Brad's birthday last week, my parents were in town, and the cottage was beckoning.  So we took the plunge...

...and let me tell you, it was fabulous!

Peace.  Rest.  Not being needed by any little ones.  Being together.

Perfect.

We canoed, enjoyed the outdoors, watched movies...I sat outside and read a book, people!

It was delightful.

Best of all, I got to spend time with my wonderful hubby.  In this busy season of life, it is easy to just pass each other by day after day, to get lost in the stuff of life.  You know the "stuff" - potty training and dinner and mowing the lawn and bedtime routines...good stuff, necessary stuff, but still it sometimes makes it hard to connect.

It was good to just be together.

My parents stayed with the boys, and overall we all agreed it went well.  Matthew didn't get super itchy (which can happen when he is stressed), Nathan was (and I quote) "a perfect angel" (!), and Matthew did eventually fall asleep (even if he did a whole lot of yelling for me until 1am).  

I was worried about the aftermath, but honestly they have done so well and were just happy to have us back.  No sleep disturbances (I can hardly believe it, but after almost 3 years we finally have kids who will sleep through the night!!!!!), no mood changes...just happy boys :)

We get to go away overnight again in July, and then hopefully for a couple of nights in August.  

I. Cannot. Wait.