Hannah's birthday is coming up in one week. Her first birthday. I could go on and on about how hard this part of adoption is, missing really important stuff in your baby's life, but then people will feel compelled to try to cheer me up about it by saying things like, "She'll be home before you know it," and, "You'll get to celebrate all her other birthdays." True statements, but they don't really fix it and at the moment I'm not feeling much like being cheered up. Sometimes it is just hard, that's how it is.
I did something today that cheered me up a bit - I bought her a gift!
I don't think I've ever bought a doll before. I looked and looked and looked and finally found the perfect doll for my sweet girl.
I love it because, obviously, she's Asian :) And also because she is wearing a headband, and Hannah will probably be wearing a headband (we hope that a BAHA hearing aid will work for her and she will wear it on a soft band like Nathan used to). Plus, it's just a cute doll :)
We were thrilled yesterday to be able to pick up our FINISHED home study! I had one copy authenticated (basically the state level saying that the notary really is a notary I think, to show that the document is authentic?) and then sent off three copies to our placement agency. They received it today and should be sending in our I-800a soon! This is basically us asking the US government for permission to adopt and bring Hannah home. Once we get this approval our dossier with all our important documents will be on their way to China!
I keep doing the math over and over again, but it never helps because there are so many variables. My best guess right now is that we will travel next January or February...but we know God is able to do anything so she definitely could be home sooner :) Nathan came home much sooner than we anticipated, and we are praying for the same this time. Things do "feel" different to me this time, I'm not sure why - this adoption has seemed more difficult, pushing through challenges, things taking longer than expected, and in my heart I have peace about it not being till next year, though I truly hope it is sooner.
Is it weird that I will be stalking the mailman, not only for adoption news, but also for this little doll to arrive? :)
6 comments:
Oh my goodness how I agree with your first paragraph. I don't want to hear "it's going to be okay" or "he'll be here before you know it"...blech. I know people mean well but I don't want cheering up. It's hard and that's that. So, I understand...it stinks...it's hard...I feel your pain...praying!! :) Oh and no it's not weird that you want to stalk the mailman! It makes things a little easier and somehow more manageable doing/buying things for your baby!!
I find myself sometimes posting those comments to cheer up an AP. But really, what I want to say, is "it's just hard. I wish you weren't missing this milestone. Be sad, it's okay. And I'm sending you hugs." So I'll say that to you. I hope you are able to do something meaningful to you and Brad on Hannah's birthday to mark such an important day.
And that is a great doll - Natalie has one too. I was thrilled to find it - especially after searching in Korea for one and couldn't find one there that wasn't caucasian (strange, don't you think?). Congrats on one step closer!!
And I hope that you will be traveling to Korea AND China this year - that would be awesome!!
I love Hannah's doll! So excited you found that for her!
With love to you always!
Marilyn F.
I love your comment about "she will be home before you know it" I have heard that a million times over the last 3 months and you are right it just does not help-- even though they mean well. Missing the milestones just plain suck! No other words than that!!
LOVE the dollie!!! I just bought the girls their first dolls last week too!! :)
Awww, I hear ya on the WAIT. I just posted about the same feelings today.
We have that doll too. Bought it for our older daughter about 6 years ago while we waited for Li'l Empress. And now, can't get Li'l Empress to play with it at all. We think she's weirded out by all the hair. Most of the other dolls in the house are "bald" babies... So funny!
Totally Not weird!!! I stalk the mailman waiting for a book or any package.... nothing like waiting for a child! Lol!
I pray the travel call comes way sooner than expected!!
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