Ramblings

So. I've been absent for a while, busy with nothing much and yet feeling kind of scatterbrained. I have an adoption headache. Not a problem with our adoption, a headache caused by our adoption. Seriously, a constant headache. Apparently this is how my body handles any kind of stress - I clench my jaw at night, get tight shoulders, and have headaches every day. I had this trouble when we were adopting Matthew and in the end needed migraine medication. The headaches stopped literally the day after Matthew came home and I was off my medicine within two weeks of him joining our family :) I don't feel stressed about this adoption but apparently I am stressed - the pain started up right as we finished our home study. Running helps, the chiropractor helps, but mostly I'm struggling with what to do about it because I really wouldn't say I am stressed about the adoption right now. It is what it is, and I trust that the Lord will bring Nathan home to me in His time. Do I want Nathan home yesterday? For sure. Am I worried about it? Maybe on some level....while I'm asleep! Sigh.

We are supposed to get several inches (or possibly over a foot) of snow over the next few days. I am already feeling stuck and itch to get out of the house. Our moms group has already been canceled for tomorrow and the Bible study I go to on Wednesday isn't meeting this week, so...

Ideas??? What can I do for fun this week with my 2-year-old in my living room??? Help!

Speaking of my two-year-old...he's teething. Again. Still. He's getting his two-year-old molars and they are bugging him a lot. He has never been one to chew on a teething ring, but today...

When that wasn't in his mouth, his whole hand was. Poor little guy. But perhaps once these are in we can start sleeping again? Oh how we hope for that!

Running is going great - I ran 6 miles on Saturday! On a treadmill. By the end of it I kind of felt like I was trapped inside a bad dream. But I made it, and didn't have any knee pain! My race is on Saturday, if we aren't snowed in or if Brad isn't working (he works for a power company so if trees are down and power is out...he's at work).

Some days I just feel so bored with doing the same old things - laundry, picking up toys, dishes, more laundry...it is easy to feel like I'm not doing anything worthwhile with my time. Today I wallowed a little bit I was reminded of how much I have to be thankful for. Time with my little guy, time to teach him and read with him and make him laugh, a home that is warm and cozy that I get to take care of, a husband who I am so happy to see at the end of the day. And snow, more snow than I know what to do with...

Okay, well I'm struggling to be thankful for that right now!

But part of me just knows that a day will come when I will look back on this time of my life and I will wish to be back here, holding my boy who is still so little, listening to him learn new words like "el-phant" and "madillo" (that would be armadillo by the way). It's easy to let this time slip away, or to wish it away longing for the future, but truly I want to treasure each moment while it is here, enjoy it to the fullest, and make the most of each day God gives me.

Every day, even if its a snow day, is a gift!

Countdown to the 8k

The countdown is on...12 days till I run my first 8k!

I am feeling really good about it and I've been working hard to get ready. Last week I ran on Monday (2.5 miles), Thursday (3.5 miles) and Saturday (4 miles). The only bad thing was that I had to run them all on the treadmill at the gym. It is so cold at the moment, but it's not really the cold keeping me inside, it's the ice. I have a hard enough time not falling down just running on pavement...ice and running just don't sound like a good combo to me! I'm hoping to get out in the next couple of days to get used to being outside again.

I have a 5 mile run on the schedule for this Saturday and then I should be ready to run the 8k (8k is just about 5 miles). I have no goal other than to finish the race (and to not fall on my face!).

And then...let the half marathon training begin!!!

Korea on My Mind

We had a little adventure this weekend! Brad and I dropped a very happy little boy off at Grandma and Grandpa's house...

...and we went out on a date! We decided it was way past time that we experienced some authentic Korean food. I have made several dishes at home, but I was never sure if it was turning out how it was supposed to since I'd never tasted real Korean food. After getting a recommendation from a friend we ended up at a small Korean restaurant about 45 minutes from our house. The menu was in Korean but thankfully had English words beside it. Brad finally decided on the Spicy Pork and Kimchi and I had Bulgogi (something we've tried at home and that I loved - it's a marinated beef dish).

Neither of us had tried Kimchi before and let me tell you, there is some spice in that! Wow! Brad loved it, and I was happy with just a taste :) Along with our food, they also brought out a dish of little fish...anyone know what this is called? Brad was brave enough to try one, and when I asked how it was he said, "Fishy. Very fishy." I decided I would just take his word on that one! Our meals were wonderful and I ate until I couldn't eat another bite without exploding.

After our meals we decided to go to the mall to walk around for a bit. We hit the book store first since we didn't have much time. Both of us love browsing in the book store, which is a little strange since I would not describe Brad as someone who loves to read. I think he loves books, but not reading them :) As soon as we walked in the door, we both had the idea to head to the travel section, where we spent a good half hour reading all of the Korea guidebooks. Brad has started saying, "When we go to Korea..." instead of, "If we go to Korea..." so I think that this, combined with the fact that we bought a guidebook, means it is going to happen! I am so thrilled that we will be able to see and experience the place where Nathan and Matthew were born, and to meet the people who cared for them and loved them before they were able to join our family. Don't get me wrong - I'm terrified. 14 hours on a plane with a one-year-old and a two-year-old does not sound like my idea of a good time. But I know without a doubt it will be the trip of a lifetime!

Now all we need is that stinking travel call...oh, I hope it comes quickly!!!

I Was Going To Title This Post "Thankful Thursday"...

...but I suddenly realized it's Wednesday!

Oh well, I guess I can still be thankful on Wednesday :)

I am so thankful for new recipes, a husband and child who are happy to try new things (I seriously don't know what I would do if Matthew was a picky eater!), and for the fun I am having cooking new meals. Yesterday we had these delicious apple/chicken/cheese quesadillas. So yummy!

Today in our mailbox, something else to be thankful for...

I-600a approval!

This is something we filed with immigration here in the US asking to be allowed to adopt. Good news - they said yes! Next our agency will send in our I-600...not exactly sure what the difference is but I think it's something about specifically adopting Nathan (the I-600a was about adopting in general). I could be totally wrong about that...either way, it means we're getting closer to everything being done on the US side! Then we will have to wait for things on the Korean side. Still, it's good to see any kind of progress :)

Thankful that our weather shield for the stroller arrived today! So of course we had to brave the chilly weather with my sister and the dog and head out for a walk. I kept stopping to check Matthew's hands and face, and he was so nice and toasty. By the end of the walk, he was asleep and I was wishing I was in the stroller with him!

It may sound silly, but I am thankful for Oreos! It is so great to find yummy treats that don't cost $10 a box that are safe for Matthew to eat. I'm thinking he's kind of thankful for Oreos, too!

Tonight I'm off to youth group...I'm thankful for Jr. Highers and the opportunity to play guitar again!

I'm So Excited

Yep, you guessed it...I just can't hide it!

I'm excited that I got up the guts to register for the 8k run at the beginning of February! That is around 5 miles...and it will be the longest race I've ever run (though I have done much longer runs than that - just not in races).

I'm excited about the new weather shield we bought to cover the jogging stroller so that Matthew can accompany us to the race and stay nice and toasty.

I'm excited about the new Bible Study I recently started with three lovely ladies. I'm a little intimidated to start an inductive Bible study (I've never done one before) but I have new markers and I'm ready to start digging deeper!

I'm excited that Matthew has hardly been sick at all this winter! About a week and a half ago he looked like this:

...and usually for him, a red splotchy face means sickness is on the horizon. But thankfully it didn't turn into anything, so it was either teething, or he beat it! Either way...Yey!

I'm excited to take Matthew camping this summer. Still a long way off, but I'm dreaming of shorts and warm weather and going to the beach!

I'm excited that Brad is going to take me on a date this week, and that we are hopefully going to a Korean restaurant. I am not excited that we cannot take Matthew, our Korean son, to the Korean restaurant because of his food allergies :( But I am excited to learn how to make some new Korean recipes at home this month so that he can enjoy it too!

I'm excited that the weeks are rolling by, bringing us closer and closer to meeting our sweet Nathan! I am over the moon excited that we are seriously considering traveling to Korea with Matthew and that we will may get to meet his foster family!

All Dressed Up

I used to think only little girls had cute clothes to wear.

Boy, was I wrong!

Here's the little man all dressed up for church this morning...

Looking oh so handsome in his jacket and tie...

Smiling so mommy could get some good pictures...

Okay, okay, enough pictures already!

My new favorite outfit for my most favorite little two-year-old!

Yesterday's Wild Ride

The day was going well. Matthew and I were loaded up, on time mind you, and were heading out for the 40 minute drive to his allergist appointment. We hopped on the interstate highway, cranked up the Veggie Tales cd, and were on our way expecting an uneventful trip.

It was about 20 minutes into the drive that my mind suddenly registered something was very, very wrong. I was in the right lane, and just a few seconds ahead of me were an SUV (in the left lane) and a semi truck (in the right lane). Except all of a sudden, they weren't in the left and right lanes anymore. The SUV was off on the left shoulder, spinning around, and the truck was skidding off onto the right shoulder. I couldn't grasp what was happening, but I slammed on the brakes and had the fleeting thought of "This is it. We are about to be in an accident.".

We were on a divided highway with a large grassy median between us and the westbound lanes, so you can imagine my surprise when a red car suddenly appeared between the spinning SUV and the semi...driving towards me! On the wrong side of the highway. He was in the left lane, but I didn't know what to do. Was he going to swerve into our lane? Should I drive off the road? There was no time to think, and before I had to make that decision he had driven past me.

It all happened so fast and suddenly I found myself sitting, stopped, on the shoulder. Shaking uncontrollably. I turned and looked at Matthew, relieved to see him happily munching on a cracker. Relieved to just see him.

I later learned that the man driving the car the wrong way down the highway did in fact hit someone head-on after he passed me. The other driver was okay; the man in the red car had to be cut out of his car. I don't know if he is okay.

This experience was so frightening, and now it seems like a bad dream. Yesterday I could not stop thinking about what could have happened, all the ways that could have ended.

Today I'm just giving thanks for how it did end.

We made it to the allergist, had a wonderful appointment and impressed the doctor with how well Matthew is doing. There are no changes in his allergies for right now, but he will be tested in October again.

And hopefully we will have a much less eventful drive over next time :)

He Likes His Ducks In a Row...

...and his trucks in a row!

Yep, he likes pretty much everything in a row, actually :)

Because I Like to Run While I Wait

I realized the other day that every single time Brad and I have faced a long wait in building our family, I have developed a stronger passion for running. It must be therapeutic :) You may or may not remember that while I was waiting for Matthew to come home, I completed the training for a 1/2 marathon. Notice I did not say I ran a 1/2 marathon - he arrived 4 days before the race and there was no way I could run that thing having just become a new mom. Seriously, I was a wreck!

So...I'm waiting again :) Which means that I'm running again! I am the kind of person that does much better with a plan in place, a goal to reach, something to work towards...so I decided, why not try for the half marathon again? Of course I am praying that Nathan arrives 4 days before this one, too :) But if he doesn't, I am going to run (I typed "planning" then "hoping" but decided it's time to just commit) a half marathon on May 8th. That leaves me enough time to do the 14 week training plan plus a few weeks before that to get back up to being comfortable running 3 or 4 miles. I started this week by writing out my plan (cause I'm a nerd)...

I have completed two of three runs this week (both 2.5 miles and both went great!) and tomorrow I will run 3 miles. I am also planning to run a 5 mile race at the beginning of February. Having something in between helps keep me motivated. I am super excited because my sister and my dad have agreed to train for a 5k run in May that we will hopefully all run together!

Now I have something to keep my mind off the adoption...except for the fact that I think about it so much while I'm running! It's a strange sort of therapy!

Fingerprint Friday

It has been a long week around here...the "waiting ache" has set in! I was so thankful to not be too down on Nathan's birthday on Monday, and then suddenly on Tuesday - BAM! I was just so sad! The months ahead just stretch out before me and the not knowing when we will have him in our arms became almost unbearable. I feel like if I just knew how long it would be, maybe I could handle it better. But that's not the way it goes with adoption :) I have been so blessed with some amazing times with the Lord this week and I'm so grateful to be able to trust the One who sees the end of this journey!

Today was a good day as Brad and I were able to feel like we were doing something to help move the adoption process along - we went and had our fingerprints taken! I think this is about the seventh time I've had my fingerprints done (between adopting and being a Canadian married to an American, we have lots of experience with the immigration department here!). One more thing checked off the list!

Oh, and something else I finally checked off the list - I mailed Nathan's care package this week! I finally got myself in gear after someone asked me at our Mom's group on Tuesday, "Do you think Nathan got his care package yet?" and I had to sheepishly reply that I was fairly certain that he hadn't received it...since I hadn't mailed it yet! Oops! Well, it's on its way now :)

I have been so excited this week to see (on some of the adoption forums) that there is a lot of movement now that it's the new year and I am praying that we are able to travel much sooner than we think. We had been told about 9 months from our official acceptance...we're almost at 2 months waiting! So that puts us traveling maybe in September??!?! Sometimes that feels so long but I know it will be here before we know it!

It's Someone's Birthday {in Korea}

Today our little boy Nathan is one! Happy birthday, baby boy! We so wish he was here celebrating with us, but we are thankful that we can know his foster family is taking such good care of him. I thought that this would be "the day of the big pity party" but strangely enough I felt so happy all day long, knowing that one day we will be telling him about our party here and how we missed him so much. I am so thankful for this little boy and that God has brought him into our life to be our son.

When I told Matthew that today was Nathan's birthday, his response was "Cake!". Yep, this boy is learning lots of important things :) Of course we had to have a cake to celebrate Nathan's birth.

Brad's parents came over for dinner and cake. It was so good to be together and to know how much we are all looking forward to meeting Nathan. My parents are coming tomorrow, so...more cake! We seriously have the best families in the world - they are all so supportive and have opened their hearts up to our little guys without hesitation. We are so blessed!

As a special birthday treat, I thought it was time I at least showed off a tiny part of my baby's cuteness! So check out this head of hair - have you ever seen such awesome hair on a five-month-old?!?!?!?! I thought not!

I wish I could show you his whole face...absolutely gorgeous! For now that will have to wait. We are dreaming of the day when we meet Nathan and can finally become a family or four!

Happy Birthday, Nathan!!! We love you!!!!

A Little About the Boy

Let me tell you a little bit about this boy. Lately, this is what he looks like at home. His mouth is open most of the time (talking, not screaming...usually) and a smile is generally plastered on his face.

We're having an explosion here, and thankfully this time it's a language explosion and not another kind of explosion that we've had lots of and don't want to see again for a long time...of the diaper variety. No, this explosion is way more fun. Matthew has been learning so many new words every day, has started putting two or three words together, and let me tell you - little man loves to talk! From the moment he's awake, he chatters away, copies things we say, and practices new words he just learned.

The new favorites are "meatball", "notebook", "apple sauce" (which comes out "bobble saw" - super cute - so we make him say it like a thousand times a day), "clack clack" (for his train movie), "railway", "red truck", "more cookie peeeeeaaaassse"...the list goes on and on!

I have also been noticing lately that he is just so happy. I mean, he really has been a happy guy from the first day he came. But lately....something is different. I don't know if I can even explain it, or if anyone but me sees it, but I don't think it's just his age. He seems settled. I know that sounds crazy, he has been here for over 15 months and has been doing well the entire time. But lately I have just seen a joy in him that I haven't seen before. The hugest smiles when we play. The craziest laughter and excitement when we chase him and tickle him. It's the way he runs over to me for no reason, throws himself into my arms and says with a sigh, "Mama!". Or how he lies in my lap looking up at my face, and takes my cheeks in his hands to pull me in for a kiss. It's strange but it's like I can just feel that he feels secure. And let me tell you, it makes my heart soar!

Being this little boy's mama never gets old. Not a day goes by that I don't tell him how grateful I am that God brought us together. He is such a gift and I often find myself shaking my head in wonder that he is all mine. Ok, I have to stop writing now or my heart might burst! But you get the picture - so thankful for this little man!

Another Year Over...

It's hard to believe it's Happy New Year time again already. The days go by so fast! I think that 2010 is on my list for best years ever and a part of me was sad to see it go...but I look forward to the coming one just as much, wondering what it will hold and what I will be looking back at one year from now.

We had a fabulous time ringing in the New Year with dear friends, followed by a long night with a little boy confused about where he was! He went to sleep at our friends house...then again in the car....then again in our bed...and at long last we had him settled in his own bed :) Every time he woke up he seemed so confused about what was going on! Thankfully today was a stay-at-home-in-pajamas-all-day-long kind of day. I think we all needed it!

Today was also an all-day-bedhead kind of day

and a play-in-a-box kind of day!

Aren't those the best days?

I'm thinking about so many things tonight as I look forward to this year. I do not know what it holds, I do not know when I will be able to get my second sweet boy into my arms, I don't know what challenges we will face or what joys will be ours, but I am knowing such peace tonight because my faithful God knows it all and will be with us no matter what comes. Happy New Year!