Almost Officially Ours!

Sometimes I still catch myself looking at him, staring at his beautiful face in wonder, and my heart does this funny little thing as I realize once again...I get to be his mom. This precious boy is mine! There are moments when truly life seems too good to be true.

Tomorrow is our court date and then...it's official! We are so excited about this event and are looking forward to sharing this special day with family and friends. My parents are on their way here as we speak, and my parents, sisters, and most of my family-in-law are going to be able to join us at court tomorrow. Yey!

We are also having about 35 friends and family members over for a party tomorrow night!!! Today has been a busy day and I'm sure tomorrow will be even busier, but I am {surprisingly} not stressed out at all! I am just looking forward to a fun celebration. Only one more sleep!

Babies in Pajamas

One of my very favorite things in the whole world is seeing babies in pajamas. I don't know why but I just find them adorable. If it were socially acceptable for me to keep Matthew in pajamas all the time instead of clothes...I would do it. Okay, okay, some days we do this anyway! Secret's out!

Here are some fabulously cute pj's that Matthew is sadly going to outgrow soon.

Of course we had to have a photo shoot...let's just say it did not go well in the traditional "get a nice picture of the two of us" sort of way, but this picture just cracks me up, so I think it was a success!

I'm pretty sure he's screaming "Let me go I need to run let me go I need to run!!!!!!!!"

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And speaking of running...I ran two miles with my friend Kristy today at the blazing speed of 10:30 minute pace! Well, maybe blazing is not the word most people would use for that pace, but for me it was rockin'! It was so much easier to run without the jogging stroller. I also filled out the paperwork for a 5k on May 14th...my running love is returning! Someone at church on Sunday mentioned that they are doing another 1/2 marathon this year, and I felt the twinge inside of me...hmmm...I wonder if that will be in my future?!?!

Perspective

I don't know exactly where this post is going. I just have some thoughts that I wanted to share...we'll see how they come out I guess!

Before we adopted, I wondered a lot what it would be like to be a family with two races in it. I wondered what people would say, how we would be treated, what it would feel like to look different than our son. At the beginning of the adoption process, I worried about it. By the end of the process, I just wondered. I knew we would deal with things as they came up, and we would be okay.

In a sense, I think I had kind of "braced myself" to hear comments from people when Matthew first came home. We would go out to the store and I would just be looking at people, wondering what they were thinking about us, and waiting for them to say something to us about it. Part of me (maybe most of me) expected the comments to be rude, or insensitive, or...just something negative, I guess. Maybe I was a little jaded from reading all kinds of stories from people on adoption forums about all the rude things that had been said to them, and I expected the same.

But I was wrong about people. I have been shocked to discover that every single time we go out somewhere, we do get comments - but not the kind of comments I imagined. People stop me at the store, at the library, at restaurants, everywhere, to tell me what a beautiful baby I have! I mean, as if I didn't know! But really, people are kind and I have not had any negative comments or questions (yet). I did have a weird conversation recently at the grocery store, when a lady came up to tell me about a beautiful Hallmark movie that was on last night about some girls adopted from China....um, not sure what I should say to that, sorry!

I guess what I'm learning is that I can either approach our differences defensively, being ready to attack everyone who even makes a comment about our differences, or I can realize that most people (not all people, but most I think) are generally trying to be kind, or are curious about our family, and I have the opportunity to educate them about how wonderful adoption is. I do not want to be oversensitive. I was once a person who would look at families with two races, not because I was judging them or thinking badly of them, but because I was wondering what it would be like for our family. So when I see people looking at us...I try not to think the worst.

The hardest part for me in all of this is the fact that one day, Matthew will be aware of our differences, and aware of the fact that people may be looking at us because we are different. I notice that kids especially seem to look long and hard at him, and I wonder...what will he face when he goes to school? It brings tears to my eyes to even think about him being hurt or made fun of. I guess every parent feels that. I so badly want to shelter him from any of this, but I know that somewhere along the way, we will have to deal with negative or hurtful comments, and teach him how to deal with them as well.

I must say that I have been very much changed by the experience of having a child from another country join our family. As weird as this may sound, I love the fact that we are different! I love that our journey to become a family took a different twist than I expected. I love staring at Matthew's beautiful, almond-shaped eyes, running my fingers over his thick black hair, and thanking God for how marvelously this little boy is created. I wouldn't change him for the world!!!!

New Look

Apparently I am not going to be knitting tonight...instead I decided the blog needed a new look! Nothing too crazy different - I don't handle change all that well - but it was time for some updates.

Obviously we are not "in the waiting" anymore (thank you, Lord!) so I thought it was time to change the title. Life is so full of joy and I wanted to reflect that in the header.

So, here it is...what do you think?

Friends and Bunnies and Knitting...This Post Has it All!

It has been a long week and I am so glad it's Friday! Brad had to get up super early most days this week and has been so worn out in the evening. I totally understand it, but it's hard when you haven't really seen another adult all day and then your husband comes home and just wants to go to bed! I am looking forward to some quality family time tomorrow :)

It has not been a bad week, though. Matthew had fun playing with his friends Luke and Evelyn while I got to hang out with one of my best buds, Katie. I am so thankful for her - she keeps me sane!

(This post will be totally random, by the way!)

I love that whenever Matthew has just socks on, he pulls them off as quick as possible and then sits there with a look of complete concentration on his face as he tries to figure out how they go back on! So funny! Please excuse the nose bubble - mama didn't notice till after she took the picture :)

We've had some sadness around our house this week - Daisie (our basset hound) recently found a nest full of baby bunnies at the back of our yard. We tried our hardest to keep her from getting them, but unfortunately none of them made it to the end of the week. I know it is silly but I have just been so sad about the little baby bunnies dying :( I can't blame Daisie since it is her nature to hunt. Still, it's sad.

This picture just made me smile so I had to show off Daisie's ears! Crazy dog!

Tonight I am working on a knitting project - finishing the second of a pair of fingerless mittens I am making for myself...for next winter :) They will be so useful since I always have to carry stuff and buckle Matthew into the car! Plus, they're really quick to make which is nice.

And in other news...Matthew seems to be returning to two naps a day. We can't seem to get on a schedule for anything, and I don't work well without a schedule!!!! It is driving me a little bonkers!

Ok, the ramblings are finished! Happy weekend everyone :)

Naptime Woes

After two or three weeks of Matthew being on a perfect sleep schedule, taking two good naps a day and sleeping through the night, we are now navigating the interesting road of going from two naps a day to one. Matthew started to show that he was not tired enough for two naps, so I figured it was time to make the change.

In theory it sounds easy - just cut out one nap, right? Ah, if only it were that easy! We are now in the midst of trying to figure out a new schedule. He will not sleep long enough in the afternoon to prevent crankiness, and if he sleeps in the morning, he won't sleep after lunch and then, you guessed it - crankiness! My happy, well-rested little boy has become a grump a lot of the time. If only I could figure out how to give him one and a half naps a day...

This is one thing I didn't realize about having a child. Things are changing all the time! It seems like I finally get something figured out, and then it changes! I guess it keeps life interesting :)

Driving Lessons

"Okay Matthew, now put it into first...good...now slowly let off the clutch..."

He'll be driving in no time!

* Please pray for me tonight - I am heading to camp with 50 teenagers and will be away from my little boy for the first time (overnight that is). I'm not worried since Daddy will be here taking care of him...it's just a big milestone! *

The Mamarazzi

I am attempting to learn more about photography and have been enjoying playing around with our camera and learning about how to take better photos. It's a lot of fun, though I'm not much good at it! One of the frustrating things I am finding is that even though sometimes I get some really good shots that I'm happy with...other times I miss what would have been a great picture.

For example...last night after spaghetti, Matthew looked at me and with no prompting did this:

Obviously it is way too dark. Sometimes I have the opposite problem and the photo is way too light (just to mix it up a bit!). I love this photo but was so sad at how it came out.

And then of course there's the blurry photo. So. Stinking. Annoying.

Around here Brad lovingly refers to me as the "Mamarazzi" since I have the camera out so much. But how can I not when I have such an adorable subject to take pictures of?!?! :)

This afternoon was absolutely gorgeous! We played outside for a while and then I brought out the camera. I'm so glad I did as I was able to get some pictures that I just love!

Check out these squishy thighs - you know you just want to reach right into the picture and squeeze them!

This picture makes me want to reach in and wipe off the drool! Come on, tooth, just poke through already!

Apparently Matthew found the photoshoot a little boring...

Uh-oh, I made him want to pull his hair out...

Enough, Mamarazzi!

Perhaps you didn't hear me...let me say it a little louder!

I love this photo - I asked Matthew how big he is....

SO BIG!

Poor little boy, he'd better get used to having his picture taken I think!

It's his own fault, really...he is just too cute!

Learning to Run...Again

I am trying to get back to running but it is not going so well. Since Matthew arrived it has seemed much more like something I feel I should do rather than something I want to do. Why even bother, you may ask! Well, because I know that I love it. I know that once I am running regularly I feel good and I am happy to be able to go our and run. And also because bathing suit season is almost upon us :)

Running these days is just so much work!!!!

I used to like to run at the park, which is about 15 minutes away by car. But now just getting to the car is like running a marathon in itself! Not only do I get myself all ready to run (clothes, shoes, knee braces, mp3 player, hat, headband...) but now I have to get Matthew ready PLUS all the stuff he needs (snack, drink, diaper bag, etc) PLUS wrestle the stroller into the trunk. Then I drive there, unload it all...seriously, by this point I just want to lie down and take a nap in the grass :)

The solution, I think, is this: RUN WHERE I LIVE! It's super hilly around here but I guess I'll just build up some big muscles...or make up routes that avoid the hills. Yep, mostly likely the making up routes one.

Today we quickly got our stuff together, headed out the door, and ran two miles! It's not much, but it's a start. Hopefully we can get out there at least 3 times a week so that I can run a 5k in May. Plus, I'm hoping that since I run with the stroller a lot, when I run without it, maybe it'll be really easy?!?!?! Let's pretend that anyway :)

And on another, totally unrelated topic...we had spaghetti for dinner, and it was thoroughly enjoyed by the little mister :)

Yep, I'd say we both had a good day!

Interpreting the Signs

When Matthew came home, we decided to start teaching him how to sign some words so that we could communicate with him before he could talk. We had several friends who had done this, and to be honest it was probably the cuteness factor that got me :) I just think it's adorable when babies sign "more" or "please"!

This has turned out to be one of our *favorite* things!!! I love that he can tell us what he wants! Matthew does not know a ton of signs, but the main ones we use are more, please, thank you, all done, milk, drink, and eat. He has stopped using some signs that he used to do (such as cracker) since he can now say those words (which is the way it should be I think).

I would have to say his most beloved sign, though, is the sign for more. We see this one a lot around here and it is usually accompanied with him frantically saying "mo...mo...mo!" He likes to let us know when he wants more of something! (This is a picture of him signing more - he wanted to go on the swing again!)

Now, sometimes it is hard to figure out exactly what he is trying to tell us. For example, when it first started to be nice outside, he would sign more every time I got near to the door that goes out to the backyard. Finally I realized that he wanted more outside! He was so happy when I figured that out!

Sometimes he is kind of hard to read - we will do something new and he will not smile or anything, and we can't tell if he loved it or hated it. This happened when we took him down the slide at the park for the first time. No crying, but no smile either. We asked him if he wanted to go again and suddenly he came to life - "more more more!" he said and signed.

My very favorite use of the sign for more came a while back. My sister was visiting and Matthew was in the tub so she came in to sit with him while I went to do something. I popped back in to say hi for a minute and then had to go and check on the dog. As soon as I left again, Matthew burst into tears and started saying and signing more! I came back in, he stood up in the tub, gave me a hug, stopped crying and sat down happily. My sister looked at me and said, "Oh, he just wanted more mama!"

Seriously, best moment ever.

So, all that to say that we loved teaching our little one signs and we will definitely be doing this with our next one...and by the way I am thinking a lot these days about our next one...but that is for another day and another post!

Finally Finalizing!

Whew - it has been a wonderful but full week around here! My mom arrived on Monday and was able to stay with us for four days! It was so great to have her here and Matthew was so excited to get up in the morning and find that Nana was still here! It is hard living apart from family but I'm so thankful that we can visit often.

Our exciting news this week...we have our court date!!! I'm not sure how it works with every country, but when adopting from Korea you have to have several post-placement visits and your child must be home at least 6 months before your adoption is finalized. We will be going to court on April 30th and at long last, Matthew will be legally and officially ours! It is really just a formality as all of the paperwork is done ahead of time and our social worker said we are good to go. This will be a very special day as Matthew will become part of our family forever and will also become a US citizen. We cannot wait!

Life at the moment is just so, so good. I sometimes feel like I must be dreaming - it really can't be this good. I can't be this happy. But I'm not - this truly is my life! I feel so blessed. Matthew is showing us every day that he is attached and adjusted to life with us, and that makes our hearts so happy. The smiles and laughter have been so much more frequent these last few weeks and we just love it! He is sleeping through the night again (finally - it took a while to get back to that after all the sickness and I started to wonder if I'd still be getting up in the night with him when he was 18!). He brings so much joy to our lives and we are so thankful that he is here with us.

Wordless Wednesday {Loving the Sunshine}