Christmas Thoughts

Merry Christmas!

The last few days have been absolutely wonderful. Having Brad home with me is such a gift - it feels like I've been on vacation, even though I haven't gone anywhere! Having his company throughout the day, someone to laugh with and talk to, has been such a blessing. We have truly done nothing the last few days! I can't post most of our pictures because we are in our pajamas in most of them :) Yep, it's been that good!

My birthday was lovely and relaxing, being with two people I love so very much. And I didn't even have a meltdown about turning 30 like I expected to. It's funny how much younger 30 is once you get to it compared to how old it feels when you're, say, 20! In some ways, I feel like life is just beginning.

Christmas was more of the same - cuddles and movies and playing with new toys. Brad and I made our very first roasted chicken dinner and it turned out to be delicious! I was very proud of us.

Somehow I feel like now that Christmas has passed, and Matthew has been here for 3 months, something has happened. I don't know how to describe it exactly, but somehow in the last week or two, the feeling of being completely overwhelmed most of the time is starting to fade! I haven't written about it much, because for some reason I have also struggled with a bit of guilt that sometimes, I find being a mom very, very hard. Not hard in that I don't want to do it - there is never a second that I would trade it. Just hard in the sense that I often feel completely and utterly at a loss in knowing what to do. Like on Christmas night when Matthew woke up and screamed from about 10:30pm till 3:30am. And I didn't know why or how to fix it. I find that so hard.

But somewhere along the way, I'm just realizing that it's okay that I don't have the answers! And I'm learning how to chill out a bit...which is hard for me! I like to worry and fret and stress. That's my "thing". Lately, though, God has just been bringing peace and rest to my heart about all of this. He's showing me over and over again that I don't need to fear, because He is with me!

I've been so thankful of that reminder this Christmas -

"The virgin will be with child and will give birth to a son,

and they will call Him Immanuel - which means, 'God with us.'"

Matthew 1:23

I'm so thankful that He is with us - that He is with me! I cannot imagine my life without Him.

I hope you had a wonderful Christmas and time with your families!

A Birthday for Momma

"Wait a minute...my mom is HOW old today? THIRTY????"

"That is really, really old. How did this happen?????"

Baby boy, I am wondering the very same thing :)

Being "The One"

Have you ever been holding a baby or child who is crying and crying, and then their mom comes over, picks them up, and they stop? I always wanted to be that to someone. And now, I am!

I love that when he sees me, he reaches his little arms up to me and wants me.

It is an amazing feeling to be able to stop a child's tears (not every time, mind you!) just by holding him close and being with him. To be able to comfort him and take away his sadness...just because I'm his mom. It fills my heart up like I never knew was possible.

I love that I'm the one he wants.

Want to know a secret? He's the one I want, too!

Our First Christmas Together

If you only saw our pictures from our family Christmas last Saturday, you would think it was a pretty laid back, relaxing kind of day. Unfortunately (or perhaps fortunately), the pictures don't tell the whole story. Somehow we did not capture the little boy who was not feeling well, who cried and was unhappy and wouldn't eat and who melted down in a big way a few times. We (thankfully) also did not capture the momma who was pretty stressed out by this and who was a bit disappointed that Matthew's first Christmas with us was not exactly how I'd pictured it...to say the least.

BUT...

When I look back at these pictures, I smile. Because despite all of those things, my boy is here with me. He was cranky, but he was in my arms! He was sad, but I got to comfort him! And we got to spend the day with my family, laughing and making memories and celebrating the birth of our Savior! So really, even though it didn't go as planned...it was wonderful.

Nana and Papa had so much fun spending time with Matthew!

Christmas kisses

We did see some Christmas smiles :)

Aunt Sarah is pretty funny!

Hanging out with Aunt Jo and Aunt Sarah

Of course our traditional Christmas dinner,

complete with paper hats (it's a British thing!)

Matthew woke up from his nap and probably

wondered what in the world was going on!

We didn't want him to feel left out...

I am so thankful for the time I got to spend with my family.

There really is nothing like being together!

Random

I got this idea from Kristen's blog - I needed something to get me started!

Outside my window... cold and gray...brrrr!

I am thinking...I need to wake Matthew up soon so that we have time to get ready to go and pick up my sister. I hope he wakes up happy!

I am thankful for...my family, who are on their way here right now to celebrate Christmas tomorrow!

I am wearing...a shirt I got for $1.97 and jeans that are getting just a little too snug...come on Spring, I need to be outside running again!

I am remembering...all the things God has brought me through over the last 10 years as I get ready to turn 30! Many deep waters...but so much joy has come my way during these years!

I am going...to blowdry my new, short hair :) I mean, the hair isn't new - it's just new that it's short.

I am currently reading...the book of Esther in the Bible, and a book called "Learning of God" by missionary Amy Carmichael, and the fourth book in a really good series by Judith Pella that I can't remember the name of right now.

I am hoping...that I'm not too sad for Christmas or my birthday (as I won't get to see my family on those special days) and that I remember how much I have to be thankful for as I watch this little one open presents:

On my mind...a friend going through a painful trial.

Noticing that...it is silent! It is so rarely silent around here...wow, silence is very quiet!

Pondering these words...
"He who hath lead will lead

All through the wilderness,

He who hath fed will surely feed...

He who hath heard thy cry

Will never close His ear,

He who hath marked thy faintest sigh

Will not forget thy tear.

He loveth always, faileth never,

So rest on Him today--forever."

~Written to missionary Amy Carmichael by her mother

From the kitchen...a present to finish putting together for my mom (before she arrives!)

Around the house...warmth, coziness, holiday smells...soon to be lots of laughter...love it!

One of my favorite things...a husband who can make me laugh at 6:30 in the morning.

I need to...go and get ready!

Learning New Things

I love seeing Matthew learn new things.

I love that he is getting more and more steady on his feet every day.

I love the way his little bum sticks out when he walks!

I love that he looks like a little old man with his walker.

I love that he is so proud of himself when he makes it across the room.

I love that if I'm near, he always reaches out for me and wants to hold my hands.

And I love that I finally made a video where I wasn't talking too much!!!! Because you have just GOT to see this cuteness!

Christmas Tree: Check!

The Christmas tree is finally decorated! It took a few nights, but we finally found the time and energy to finish it while watching White Christmas. Now we just get to enjoy it for the rest of the Christmas season!

I love putting all the ornaments on because there are so many memories that come back when we pull out our Christmas decorations. This year I smiled when I pulled out this ornament. We bought it in Tennessee in June when we were on vacation with my family. We had just received our referral for Matthew, and to be honest it felt like Christmas (and Matthew) would never be here. But now they both are! I felt so thankful as I hung up this ornament.

This is another ornament that's new to our tree this year. It is from Korea and a lady at our church who has two adopted daughters from Korea gave it to us. What a precious gift!

This ornament really took me back - woah, I almost forgot I used to be a teacher!

Ah, yes, the tree is not complete without Rusty Wallace, Brad's all-time favorite Nascar driver. I can honestly say I never thought I'd have a Christmas tree with a race car driver hanging on it!

This is one of my favorite ornaments. Brad surprised me with it on our first Christmas together. I get a little misty-eyed every time I pull it out. He had it engraved and it says, "Our first Christmas together 2004". Such a special gift!

So far, Matthew has not really been that interested in the Christmas tree, which is fine but kind of surprised me. I thought he'd find the lights interesting at least! But I'm not so bothered with him learning about Christmas trees or Christmas traditions as I am about him getting to hear the real story of Christmas. We had fun this week playing with a nativity set my mom and dad got him, and I was so excited to tell him the story of Jesus and how God sent His Son to earth for us. Well, I told Matthew the 1-year-old version this year :) We acted it out with all the little people, and I look forward to telling this story to him many times as he grows up, not just at Christmas but all throughout the year.

The Art of Eating a Cracker

First, find a prime location to eat a cracker.

For example, a couch your size would be just perfect.

Flash mom a smile...

maybe when this cracker is finished she'll give you another one!

Use those handy-dandy front teeth to bite off little pieces of cracker. Yum!

Take a break to cheese for the camera!

Make sure to get every last crumb into your mouth...

wouldn't want to miss any of this yummy goodness!

Wash it down with some water or juice, whatever is on hand...

And make way for the Basset Hound Inspection and Cleaning Service!

Momma Said There'd Be Days Like This

This was Matthew on Monday. Sad, sad little boy.

And he's found his scream.

So far, Matthew has generally been a pretty happy and mellow baby. This week, though, not so much. I'm finding out that the hardest part about when he is sad is that sometimes, it is really hard to figure out why he is sad/mad/frustrated! Is it teeth? Is he not feeling well? Is it something else? Is he just grumpy? I mean, that happens to me sometimes! I hate when I can't figure it out and make it better. I have discovered though that the bathtub pretty much fixes any crankiness, so I'm keeping that one in my back pocket to use as needed!

Thankfully, today he is a much happier boy!

(Gotta love his gangsta pant leg and the drool on my shirt!

Ah, yes, we have captured real life!)

Time for a Haircut!

It had to be done. It was just so long, getting in his eyes, people were starting to ask if he was a boy or a girl...it was time. But oh, how I hated to cut his hair! I just didn't want him to look any different! Thankfully, after his first haircut, he is still my baby boy (even though the certificate they gave me at the barber shop declared that he had "graduated from babyhood"! What?!?! I did NOT authorize THAT!).

He sat so still on daddy's lap...

And when it was all over I had one handsome little man on my hands!

Actually, now I have TWO handsome men on my hands :)

It doesn't get any better!

Look Who's One!

Happy First Birthday, Matthew!

Daddy and I love you so very much!

You have changed our world, filled our hearts, and we are so

grateful that you are finally here in our arms.

You are so special to us and we pray that as you grow you

will see just how much we love you, but even more importantly

than that, we pray that you will come to know

and love the One who created you.

God's fingerprints are all over you, little boy!

All day I kept thinking of the book, "Love You Forever" by Robert Munsch,

as this really just says it all:

I'll love you forever,

I'll like you for always,

As long as I'm living

My baby you'll be.

The Little Mister in His Hanbok

We were so surprised and happy when Matthew arrived to find that his foster family had sent a hanbok with him. This is a traditional Korean outfit that is worn on the first birthday. From what I have seen, hanboks can be all different colors and I have not yet seen two of the same. We just love the one that Matthew's foster family sent. He looks so handsome in his hanbok!

The Toljabee event takes place during the first birthday celebration. In this event, the birthday child goes around the table and picks up items that attract him or her. The child's future is predicted according to what he grabs. After placing the child in front of the table, the child's father becomes the guide for the child to go around the table and grab whatever he or she wants. The first and second items the child grabs are considered the most important.

We placed several items on a tray for Matthew to choose from:

A pencil - intelligence

A paintbrush - artistic

Thread - long life

A Bible - love God (we certainly hope and pray for this!)

A book - scholar

A football - athletic

A race car (Can you tell Brad added this one in!) - be a Nascar driver

Matthew didn't take long to first grab the thread - yey for long life!

And then, suddenly, without warning, before I could do anything...

HE GRABBED THE RACE CAR!

Everyone else cheered, I groaned, and we startled the poor little guy so much that he dropped the car and turned to his daddy for comfort!

Oh well, at least as my friend pointed out today, he will be a race car driver who will have a long life!