Made to Worship

I never dreamed when I picked up a guitar ten years ago that it would one day feel like a part of me! I have so happy to be playing a lot again lately. Playing on the praise team at church and helping to lead the youth praise team has been such a blessing to me these last few months. I love to play, but more than that, I love to worship the Lord. I have been learning a lot lately about worship as I have been thinking through why and how we worship. The Lord has changed me in so many ways over the last few years, and one of the things He has shown me is that worship is not about me. I used to get nervous, I used to think that people were looking at me or that I would mess it all up. I used to worry if it was not perfect and stress if things did not go how we practiced. I was quick to be critical of other people's efforts - thinking we were playing it too fast or too slow or too loud or too soft or just not the way I wanted! But through His Word I have been gently (and not so gently) reminded that worship is about HIM alone. It is about singing to Him and singing about Him. I am learning to let go of my perfectionistic (and self-focused) ways and to worship with my heart. He is so worthy of my praise!

"I will praise you, O Lord my God, with all my heart; I will glorify your name forever." Psalm 86:12

Craving the Word?

"Like newborn babies, long for the pure milk of the word, so that by it you may grow in respect to salvation, if you have tasted the kindness of the Lord."

1 Peter 2:2-3

Pastor G's messge hit home this week. He has been talking this summer about falling in love with Jesus again. To be honest, I haven't been that challenged by the messages yet...because I have been pretty complacent in my walk with the Lord lately and haven't been too open to hearing His voice. I want to be closer to Him, but I have not been willing to spend any time with Him. I have tasted that the Lord is good, but I have just been feeling so far away from Him. I have been wrestling through some issues in my life, trying to reconcile some things that have happened in my life with what I know to be true in Scripture...I've been doing a lot of thinking and reflecting, but not a lot of reading and praying. To tell the truth, I have missed Him. I have missed that closeness and intimacy with Him that I have come to know over the last couple of years. But I just couldn't seem to get it back.

So on Sunday, I didn't go to church expecting much. My dear friend, Sue, and I have been talking about this very thing just the day before (and after the sermon she leaned over to me and said, "Did he hear our conversation yesterday?"). What do you do when your spiritual life seems dry and God feels so far away? What do you do when you start to not even care (other than feel guilty about it)?

As soon as 1 Peter 2:2-3 was read, it was like a little spark was lit in my heart. I remember what it is like to crave His Word. I started thinking about what it means when newborn babies crave milk. They are consumed with that desire - they will not be satisfied with anything else. They can't be distracted, they won't forget their hunger. The only way they are happy is if they get milk! As I reflected on this and thought about my own life, I realized that I have not at all been craving His Word. I have seen it as a burden, something I have to read to be a "good Christian", a chore to get done. But I have lost the passion of knowing that in my hands I hold the very Word of God Almighty! I treat it so lightly, use it for my convenience to make me feel better, and then place it aside for when I might "feel" like reading again.

Let's just say that with that message, the Lord got my attention. I was reminded again of how amazing it is that I can read my Bible anytime I want. I have taken His Word for granted and have missed out on knowing Him. But no more. I want to know Him, more than anything else in this world. I cannot claim that this will be it and I will never stray again...I know myself too well to believe that. What I do know is that He is faithful and gracious, and He keeps calling me back. How thankful I am for that!