For the last year and a half, it's been me and my boy. We hang out all day long, we go to the store together, play at the park, read books, run in the yard, sing songs...we have a good old time together.
I feel the weight of the change that is coming. Please do not misunderstand me - it is not at all that I don't want this change to come. I am so excited to meet Nathan and I know that it won't be long until I can't remember life without him.
But in these last few days, I am soaking in this special time, just me and my boy. This boy who was once just a picture and a name, but now he's my very own, a part of me.
There is another little boy across the world right now who I can't get out of my mind. I wonder what it will be like to hold him. How it will feel to run my finger across his cheek. What it will take to coax a smile from him. I wonder when it will hit me that he is mine, forever and ever (as we like to say around here).
Everything is about to change. Change is hard and scary, but also exciting and new. I have loved this time, just me and my little man, but I know that many sweet days lie ahead for me and my little men :)
Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone
6 comments:
going from 1 to 2 was really hard for us in the beginning...but so worth it. I love seeing my children play together, teach each other, comfort each other...and tease, beat up, and rough house each other. That goes with it too :) But seeing them together and knowing they will grow up together is just awesome. So excited that you will be holding both of your boys soon!!
So much change! But, so was becoming Matthew's mommy. If this is something that you have been called to, then God will give you great grace and joy. Can't wait friend, can't wait!
I have felt similar feelings. It took some time for me to pin point my feelings and why they were occurring however now I know that when a decision is made to grow your family there is often a mourning of the family that once was. That mourning as you know is but a blink of an eye and then feelings of completeness and joy beyond compare follow and are here to stay! God sure did create us with such a range of emotions - all to direct us to Him and for His glory! Praise Him for your love for your BOYS! I love you!
Eeekkk it's coming soo soon! I'm so sorry you have mono! That sucks! Enjoy your last few days before the new wonderful chaos occurs!
From one to two was excruciating for me. And some days, it still is. I'm glad that you're consciously enjoying the time you have as a family of three. Because it's never the same again. But it's a very good change - you'll have so much fun learning about your boy in a new way. It's exciting to see them grow and change as they learn to be a sibling. Change is hard, but it's good :)
I think it is wonderful that you are savoring this time with Matthew. You are such a good Mama...and you will be with two boys too, of course. D will very likely be a solo act. We are closing in on being "too old" by Korea standards to adopt again...and I just don't see it in the cards for us. Sometimes that makes me sad...that D won't have a sibling...but I try to fill that void with playdates with friends and friends at school.
Change is hard...but it is also good. The fact that you are thinking about these things shows you are ready...as ready as you can be. Hugs to you!!
Post a Comment