When Things Don't Go How I Expect

One of my biggest struggles in life is letting go of expectations. There have been so many *big* things in my life that have not gone how I expected. Those were painful and challenging experiences for sure. But I have found over the years that I even struggle with small things, changes in plans, things not going how I thought they would, circumstances being out of my control and letting go when things don't work out no matter how hard I try.

This is for sure an area that God has been working on in me. I find it so easy to get caught up in me, myself and I, thinking about all the things I want to happen, how much I am looking forward to something, that often when it doesn't work out how I wanted I get bent out of shape in a big way. So bent out of shape, in fact, that I can't enjoy whatever else I am doing because I'm just thinking about how I'm missing out on what I expected to happen.

It's not really a fun way to live, to tell you the truth.

Thankfully I am learning this lesson and starting to see that just because things don't go how I want them to does not mean that I have to be grumpy. I know - *gasp*! It seems so obvious that I can choose how I respond to things, but for so long I have felt like I had no control over it.

This week has been one of those weeks. You know, the kind where nothing goes as planned. Foot pain, a visit to the doctor, x-rays to check for a stress fracture...no running. Not what I had planned. I could be grouchy about it, feel bad every time I see someone else enjoying a run in this perfect 50 degree weather we've been having, and make those around me miserable because I can't run...but why? It's not like that gets me out there any faster. This is seriously a revelation to me! So, even though there's been no running, it has been a good week. Well, relatively.

We had great plans for the weekend. Dear friends coming with their new baby, a fun party tomorrow, lots of laughs...and instead we spent the day cleaning throw-up off the floor, comforting a sick little baby, and missing our friends who we told not to come. Sigh. It could be a mopey kind of weekend for sure, but instead we are making the best of it, planning a little party here tomorrow to watch the Daytona 500 (just me, Brad, and a bunch of candy!), and laughing over the number of times Brad has been puked on today :)

I must admit that I hope next week gets better, but truthfully if it doesn't, it's okay. If I have a stress fracture, I will not be running for weeks, or probably months. Ouch. That makes me sad. But there are so many reasons to rejoice, and I choose to not dwell on what I am missing or the fact that things have not gone how I expected.

And now back to my other fun event today...planning our Korea trip! My heart is aching today for our little guy, but I know that time is passing and one day we will get that call saying we can go and get him. So for today, I will be content to make lists, do some online research, and dream of holding in my arms. What a day that will be!