Last night as I drove home from youth group, a familiar and special song came on the radio. I believe it is called "My Tribute" and is sung by Israel Houghton, and it is the song that I used when making the video about our journey to Matthew (which is at the bottom of this blog). I just love hearing that song because it takes me back to that amazing day when we first met our sweet boy, and I always think of the pictures of us holding him for the first time.
Last night as I thought about those pictures, I thought about who I was when I met him. I was a scared, clueless, hopeful, broken, thrilled, thankful woman who could not believe this little boy was her son. It was a day I thought would never come. And the baby I held in my arms was a total mystery to me! I knew nothing about who he was. I knew some facts about him, but I didn't know him.
I smiled as I realized that now, I know him. Oh yes, he is my son and I know him so well! I know what he likes, what he doesn't like...I know what scares him (the tiger on "Jungle Book", a cat in one of his pop up books - kind of random!)...I know what he's saying, most of the time, even when others can't guess to save their lives...I know when he's tired, when he's hungry, when he wants a snuggle...I know that if at any point in the day I get down on the floor on my hands and knees, growl like a lion, and pretend I'm going to get him, he will squeal with joy and run towards me for a hug! I know that "rec" means rectangle and "game" means he wants to play the train game on my I-Pod. I know that when he hits the button in the garage to make the garage door up (with me holding him) he is without doubt going to say "Loud!" as soon as it starts going up. I know that if I tickle him under his chin he will instantly erupt in laughter.
I love knowing him. I love having a relationship and being able to take care of him. I love that there is still so much more about him to discover.
I wonder often what Nathan will be like, what it will be like to see him and Matthew together, what his personality will be. I can't wait to find out!
5 comments:
Beautiful post. I remember seeing your video for the first time and crying my way through it! And also thinking that the song was perfect. :)
I LOVE this post. So real. Can't wait to see what song you pick for Nathan's video. :)
I saw a comment on another blog and you and I are with the same agency! How cool is that?! AND we are both going for adoption #2. Although we don't quite have our acceptance to Korea yet, (things went a little quicker than we kind of expected) we will have somewhat similar timelines. Well, you will probably have Nathan home before our little angel. WAY before. But I just thought I would drop by and and say 'hi' again and am hoping for this EP thing to quicken up a bit. Looking forward to following your journey to Nathan!
tears :)
Beautiful post!
I cannot wait to see both of your babies on here!!!!
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