A Change of Heart: Adopting a Waiting Child

I think I will always remember the day that God got hold of my heart and took the fear out of the term "special needs" for me.

We had been in the adoption process for several months, had completed our homestudy, and had decided that we were hoping to adopt a "normal/healthy" child as young as possible. We had agonized over the checklist that was part of our homestudy in which we had to say which (if any) special needs we were open to. We talked and went over the list, and in the end decided that we would not check off anything on the list. To be honest, we were scared, and we didn't know what we could or could not handle. So we did what we thought was best for our family, and that was that.

Or at least, that's what we thought.

God, however, had another plan for us.

For a couple of years, we have sponsored a little girl through Harmony Outreach, a ministry that works in China and cares for abandoned children with special needs. Many of them have cleft lips and palettes, or heart problems, or were born prematurely. I heard about this ministry from Focus on the Family years ago and soon found my heart being drawn to them and the love and care that they show to so many children.

Anyway, we would get a newsletter every few months from Harmony Outreach that showed the children in their care, how they were progressing, the needs of the ministry, etc. Each time I saw these newsletters, I felt a little prick in my heart. Each time I saw the faces of real children who just happened to have some special needs, I felt God doing something in my heart. One day I realized that my view had changed - I no longer saw the challenges these children faced, I saw the children. Beautiful, special children created by God.

Fast forward to the end of 2008. We had completed our homestudy and had begun the long wait to a referral. I don't know what day or what month it was, but I remember the night like it was yesterday.

The house was quiet and dark. It was late, and Brad had gone to bed. I often find this is a time when I can just be alone with God and pray. I was sitting in the living room, praying about the adoption, praying for our future child, and suddenly I just knew. I remember standing up after praying and just knowing what we had to do. I knew we needed to be open to some special needs, and I didn't know what that meant, but one thing clearly resounded in my head and in my heart: if we weren't open then we might miss something incredible.

Oh, how thankful I am that my dear husband was willing to be open to the possibility of adopting a waiting child who may have some special needs. The Lord has changed my perspective on so many things through this adoption and I am so grateful. It brings tears to my eyes to think what we would have missed if we had been too scared to follow God's leading.

Tomorrow is a special day for us as it was exactly one year ago tomorrow that we saw our son's face for the very first time! At the time, everything was overwhelming and uncertain so I could not share the details of everything that was happening. But tomorrow I look forward to sharing with you the joy of that day, the agony of the long week that followed, and the amazing day we call referral day!