Things I Didn't Know

Things I didn't know before I became a mom:

1. I didn't know how much I could love this little boy. I knew it would be a lot - I just didn't know it could be this much. Like a "make my heart ache cause I love you so much" kind of love.

2. I didn't know how hard it would be to be a mom. Sure, everyone tells you, but until you are the one living it it's hard to understand. It is a full-time, round the clock, very tiring job. Thankfully, this is made okay because of #1. :)

3. I didn't know how many decisions there were to make as a parent. When Matthew first came home, I must admit that I struggled a lot for the first couple of weeks because it felt like every ten seconds we were making a decision about something - and I never knew what the right answer was! What should we feed him? How much do we feed him? Is he tired? His breathing sounds funny - what do we do? Should we call the doctor? Are they going to be mad that we're calling them so much? I just found myself saying to Brad all the time, "I don't know what to do!" Thankfully, as the days go by, this feeling of panic has passed (except when facing a new situation of course!) and we are kind of getting into a routine. I am so glad that Brad was nice and calm through all of this and that together we figured it out.

4. I didn't know how much a smile could mean. When Matthew smiles at me, it just makes my day. Amazing.

5. I didn't know how difficult I would find it to let go of my "old" life. It seems like everything in my world has changed - leaving my job to stay at home, stepping away from some ministries (some permanently, some just for a while), not being able to just do what I want to do when I want to do it...it's a big change. Not a bad change, just a big change.

6. I didn't know how many times a baby could poop in one day. Seriously.

7. I didn't know how easy it would be for me to get lonely staying at home. I am so grateful to have friends who are also at home with their little ones who I can hang out with :) It makes all the difference!

8. I didn't know I could be a light sleeper! Growing up my mom would always wake up the instant I walked into their room. I always wondered how she did this. Now I know :) I am awake the moment before Matthew starts crying because his breathing changes. Maybe I need to turn the monitor down!

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Tomorrow it will be 6 weeks since Matthew came home. I really can't believe it has been that long already! He is such a joy to have around and truly the adjustment has gone much better than I ever dreamed it could. From the moment he was placed in my arms, I just knew he was meant to be mine. What an adventure!