My Favorite View

This little boy, like his mama, loves to read a good book. I'm just finishing up "Gone With the Wind", while his choices have a few less words :)

Lately his attention span has been getting longer and he will sit looking at books for quite a while without getting bored. This has come in especially handy in the car...I sure do prefer him reading books to him yelling as loud as he can just because he doesn't want to be in his car seat :)

Watching him "read" is one of my favorite things to do at the moment. He'll go behind the couch to our bookcase, choose a good one, plunk himself down and start flipping through the pages. I peek over the back of the couch and smile as he concentrates so hard and enjoys each and every picture. My favorite view - his eyes down, looking at the book, his cheeks so squishy that it's all I can do not to reach out and squish them, his gorgeous eyelashes...

yep, I love this view!

First Time at the Fair

You know one of the things I miss most about being in the adoption process? I miss getting really exciting things in the mail! I used to stalk the mail man, hoping to hear good news from the government or maybe get something from our agency...yes, I miss those days. This week I've been stalking the mail man again, though, as I've been eagerly awaiting the arrival of Matthew's passport. Today (the one day I did not run out and check it as soon as it arrived) Brad brought in the mail, and of course his passport had arrived. I am so excited - now we can visit my family and friends in Canada at long last!

Yesterday was a fun night as we went to the local fair with some of Brad's family. This is a yearly event I always look forward to, but this year was a special year.

This year I got to take my son to the fair!

I must admit, the fair has always been one of those places that was kind of hard to go to - a painful reminder that I didn't have any children yet. This year all that was changed and I got to enjoy for the first time seeing my boy enjoy the lights and the animals and the displays. It was so much fun!

Matthew had a blast with his cousin, Ben! Aunt Amanda had Matthew cracking up!

Of course, no day is complete without a choo choo sighting!

It was hard to pull him away from this

(even though he didn't even ride on it...just watched!)

I couldn't get him to even look away while it was going around the track :)

He was also totally fascinated by the animals - it must have been strange for him to hear a cow saying "moo" instead of mommy! He was very excited to pet a little baby duckling.

Yep, we tired him out good! It was way past his bedtime when we arrived home and he went to bed without a peep (until 1am, but let's not talk about how he keeps waking up every night because he is teething). I love seeing him experience new things - it is the best!

It Never Gets Old

It was another regular Saturday around here. There was nothing extraordinary about it. We didn't do anything that would be classified as "exciting" in many people's books. It was a day spent at garage sales, mowing the lawn, playing with toys, swinging in the backyard, hanging out with family...the same sorts of things we do every single day.

Here's what I'm learning, though:

It never gets old.

I never get tired of the regular stuff, because I am with two people I love so much!

There was a time in my life when I got to travel around the world, meet new people, see new things, have exciting adventures like white water rafting on the River Nile, downhill skiing in Colorado, rock climbing and kayaking in Northern Ontario...and those things were amazing and fun, don't get me wrong.

But the thing is, ask me if I'd pick doing those things today or hanging out with my beloved and this little guy:

Yep, they'd win every time.

I keep waiting for it to get old, but it never does. I keep waiting for it to stop being so much fun to stay at home with my little guy, but it just keeps getting better. It's the most fun I've ever had, and my heart is full. Life has never been so good!

Fun Planning

First let me say thank you for not leaving me comments yesterday saying how weird I am or anything like that - every time I write a post that exposes my true thoughts about something close to my heart I have such mixed feelings - relief to be able to put it into words, and terror knowing that other people will read it :) I like writing about things that matter, though, and it does help me get some perspective.

I'm doing some fun planning at the moment! I'm making plans for Matthew's birthday and I am so excited that I don't know how I'll wait until December!

So you know how much this little boy loves trains? Enough that he will play with them for 50 minutes straight, just standing at the couch? Yep, that much!

We had been toying with the idea of getting him a train table (basically a table his height that would have a fantastic train set on it!) but man are they expensive! We saw one on clearance for $50 and that was the cheapest we saw anywhere...and then the next day, a friend of mine for church emailed me and said she was getting rid of a train table, and did we want it?!?! Um, YEAH!!!! We bought it for 10 bucks! So excited to get it set up in the basement...but not until December.

Then last week I went to a huge yard sale, walked into the toy section, and found...

A ton more pieces of wooden train set! I snatched it up and we are just about ready to make a fabulous train set for my boy! I just know he will love it and I'm so thankful we could find these great deals so that he can have something he'll enjoy so much.

I'm also planning a fun getaway for the three of us for a weekend in September...because seriously I just need to spend some time here:

It makes me relax just looking at the photo! I can't wait to have even a couple of days away with my boys. I just love fun planning :)

{Trusting}

When Matthew first came home, he loved the song Row, Row, Row Your Boat. I would sit him on my knee and sing it, and when we got to the "Life is but a dream" part I would dip him backwards, which would always cause him to laugh. This turned out to be a very handy thing once we tried to wash his hair in the tub. We would try dumping water on his head to wash out the suds, but it took forever and made him scream. So I decided to try a gentler approach, singing Row, Row, Row Your Boat and laying him back into the water at the end. It totally worked! Now we do that every single time and he lays back in the water without any fussing to let me get the soap out of his hair.

The other night I did this as I was washing his hair. For some reason, when I laid him back he just did not like it. He started to wriggle, and fuss, and then cry. I looked him in the eye and calmly told him that he was safe and I would not drop him or put him under the water. I don't know what I expected him to do (probably to keep fussing!) but suddenly he stopped. He looked in my eyes, heard what I said, and trusted me. He totally relaxed in my arms and let me wash the soap out.

I learned a lesson that night that has been going around in my head all week. Trust. I have been thinking about what it means when I say I trust God. I claim to, but do I live it? When I read the Bible, do I take Him at His word and believe that He will do what He says He will do? Does it make a difference to me when I am fussing about stuff in my life?

I have been so anxious lately about the whole adoption thing...and if I were honest, I've been struggling once again with the infertility thing. It seems strange to be even having thoughts about it again, after so long of it not being on my mind at all. I think that choosing to adopt again, in some ways to me means that I am choosing to not pursue pregnancy. I am okay with that, and it is what I want, but I think there is a part of me that will always just wonder. I have hesitated to even say it out loud to anyone because I fear that it will sound like I an unhappy to have Matthew as my son, which could not be further from the truth. I believe that once our next little one is home, I will once again look back and be so thankful that we were able to make the choice to adopt. I guess there is just so much unknown at this point - how long will it take? will the wait be hard again? A part of me has been really anxious about it and I have struggled with feelings very similar to when we started Matthew's adoption, which I did not expect.

Even as I vent about all my concerns and fears, I am reminded of the truth that I know, the truth that God showed me as we struggled with infertility and as we went through the long journey to adopt Matthew. God will not fail me. He is with me, and He is for me. He will help me and comfort me. I believe it, and I have experienced it in my life. I really thought I learned those lessons the first time...guess I'm a slow learner :) I'm so thankful that the Lord is so patient with me!

Growing Up! *20 Months Old*

My baby boy is 20 months old today *sniff sniff*

I am continually surprised by how fast time goes.

I don't want him to turn two! But at the same time...

I can't wait to see what he is like at two, and three, and four

To hear what he will say

What he will like, and dislike

To watch him grow and discover

I love every minute of it!

I thought I'd share a little about Matthew

at 20 months old.

He is so fun!

New words he can say:

Daisie (our dog)

Yes/No (with appropriate head shake)

Cheese

Two (but only if I say "One...")

Step

Done

Circle and Star (which sound more like "ger-ca" and "staaaa")

Yay! (with hand clapping)

Baby

Car

Keys

And his new most frequently used word: hot hot!

(every food we prepare now is "ha ha" as he calls it - even if it's cold! We're working on that!)

Matthew loves:

* Pretending he is sleeping (complete with fake snore)

* Playing with his shape sorter

* Asking to "rock rock" in the rocking chair before bed...love it!

* Trains - playing with them, reading about them, singing about them...

all things "choo choo" bring a smile :)

* Being chased and tickled

* Elephants - similar obsession as with trains

* Play dough

* Coloring

* Going up and down steps

* Cleaning up toys

Favorite Foods:

Blueberries

Watermelon

Grapes

Pears

Lima beans

Chili

Chicken (he requests it at every meal by saying "buck buck" and flapping his arms!)

Peas

Carrots

Mac & Cheese

Yogurt

Meatloaf

I can hardly believe it, but Matthew has now been a part of our family for over 10 months and has spent more of his life in the US than he did in Korea. What did we ever do without this little boy???!!?