Sunshine On My Shoulders...Makes Me Happy :)

I am loving this weather! I love being outside, grilling (or having things grilled for me!), bird watching, and just enjoying the sunshine.

My favorite room of the house...our sunroom.

Love it and have been spending tons of time there lately.

Reading some fabulous books.

Enjoying the view and watching the birdies

(even saw a humming bird this week!)

Spending time with my cute dog...

Who is sometimes crazy...

Yep, we love hanging out together in the sunroom!

Ahead of us lies a fabulous weekend - sleeping in tomorrow (glorious! and please don't feel the need to leave me any comments about how I won't be able to do that once I have a baby, because I am just sure that my baby will sleep through the night and not wake up until 10am every Saturday...right????), then a day at a campground with some good friends, and looking forward to a bbq with Brad's fam on Monday. Lots of fun and relaxation and time in the sunroom also planned :)

A Random Late-Night Tuesday Post

It's late, and I should go to bed, but instead I am working on a gift for a dear friend of mine who is going through a hard time.  In the spirit of the good old "mixed tapes" I am working on putting together a "mixed cd" full of songs that have lifted my eyes to Jesus in the hard times.  So while I work on that and wait for my hubby to return from a late-night hockey-watching session with his bro, I thought I'd catch you up on some of the goings-on around here.  

And use several hyphenated phrases in the process :)

Let's see, the weekend...was lovely!  I meant to take a picture of our sunroom, which is my most favorite room ever and where I have been spending oodles of time lately.  I have been reading loads, finishing a wonderful book by Francine Rivers and working through another by one of my all-time favorite authors, Elisabeth Elliot.  

On Saturday, I spent a lot of time thinking and reading, as a big event was occuring in my life on Sunday.  In church on Sunday morning, Brad and I were able to share about what has been going on in our lives the last three years (i.e. the infertility and adoption journey) and what the Lord has been doing through that.  It was a blessing to be able to share about His goodness and faithfulness to us, but to be honest it was a pretty difficult thing to do as well.  Sharing about something so personal was not easy, and public speaking is pretty high on the list of things I never ever ever want to do.  Right up there with sky diving (sorry, Kristy).  But, the Lord gave us the peace and the strength to be able to share and hopefully to bring Him praise for all He has done.  I was so proud of Brad for sharing the way he did...but he made me cry almost as soon as he started talking!  I do love that man.

Happy Note:  Today is 9 months of us being on the waiting list for baby!!!!

I've been running and rollerblading, and trying to learn to eat better.  I've stopped eating 8-10 cookies a day and surprisingly am losing my cravings :)  YEY!  Tonight I cleaned out the fridge, did a great big grocery shop and stocked up with all kinds of good, healthy food.  I even took a picture, I was so excited!  Brad tried really hard to act excited, but he gave a big sigh of relief when he found that I had only relocated, not thrown away, his giant bag of "cheesy poofs".  

Tomorrow maybe I'll get to the pictures...and less words!

Surviving Another 5k!

I. Love. Running.

That's all there is to it.  I am hooked.

There is something so great about races.  I love to look around and see all the different people at races.  Some of them are obviously going to finish way before me.  Some of them look confident and toned and ready to go.  But a lot of them look just like me.  A little nervous, sort of unsure about themselves, wondering how they are going to do.  I love that all kinds of people come out to races.  Fast people, slow people, big people, little people, kids (lots of them passed me today), walkers (yep, some of them passed me today, too!)...

The best thing about it is that everyone cheers you on.  People are friendly and positive and happy.  Races are high-energy, exciting places to be.

So while my time was terrible (and will not even be posted on this blog!) and it was cold and rainy, I had the best time tonight!  Wonderful memories, fun with friends, and I finished the race.  And for me, that is good enough :)

My only regret - that I do not have a picture of me with my sister, Joanna, who came to support me and who kept me from throwing up before the race (why get nervous about a race you are obviously not going to win? I have no idea!).  She was taking all the pictures and when I got home I realized I didn't take any with her in them.  But she's in all my memories!!!

And now...on to the next challenge!

Growing Up

It is hard to believe that it has been 11 years since I finished high school.  When I was 18, I left for college, ready to take on the world.  As the old Dixie Chicks song goes, I needed "Wide Open Spaces," so I headed West to Colorado, wanting an adventure and excitement and a new life.  My future stretched out before me and I imagined so many possibilities of where I would go and what I would do.  That first year of Bible college was amazing, and it allowed me to really make my faith my own.  It is funny to look back on who I was then: in some ways so brave and adventurous, moving across the country all on my own, but in other ways just a scared, homesick girl wondering what in the world I was thinking and wishing I could just be back home again!

One of the hardest things about leaving was being away from my little sisters.  My youngest sister, Sarah, was just 7 years old when I left for college.  Look at that little cutie (and try to ignore the fact that at 18 I am wearing a Winnie-the-Pooh t-shirt) and you can imagine I didn't want to let her go.

Sarah will always be my little sister...even when she's all grown up.  And she'll always be a cutie :)  Last week, she was here to take the ACT at the nearby university she will be attending in the Fall.  Yep, my baby sister is now standing on the edge, ready to take that plunge into adulthood that is so wonderful, so scary, so exciting...

I cannot wait for the Fall, to have both of my sisters close by again.  The way it should be!

On the Run and Shopping Fun

Yesterday I finally sent in my entry for a 5k race that is this Friday. For some reason I have been having trouble committing to it. I think it's because I know I am not going to be able to do all that well in it. I'm trying to go into it with the attitude that I just want to run the whole thing. My sister, Joanna, kindly came with me last night for a 3 mile run (she rollerbladed, and Brad walked the dog).  It is so much better with company :)  I did another 3 miles today, so hopefully I'll be good to go by Friday.  I'm not into the training yet for the half marathon - that starts mid June - but I am in the pre-training phase and trying to get back into a regular routine of running. (Maybe my goal for this race should be to have a picture of me that looks like I'm actually running instead of leisurely walking...!)

After running, there are really only two things I feel like doing: eating, and shopping.  In that order.  So, after dinner Brad and I hit the stores in search of some special items.

When we receive our referral, we will be able to send a little care package to the foster family that is taking care of our child.  Now,  knowing myself as I do, I'm pretty sure that once that call comes in, my brain is going to turn to mush and I am not going to be able to think clearly at all.  Since I need something to occupy myself right now, we have been looking for items that we could send to our baby :)  One thing we have been looking EVERYWHERE for is a little baby photo book that we can put a few pictures of me and Brad and our families in.  We finally found the perfect one tonight at Toys R Us:

When we looked a little closer, we noticed that they even had the word "Photo" written in some kind of Chinese or Korean character (at least I hope that is what it says...!!!)

Someone had also suggested getting a blanket and sleeping with it for a few nights and then sending it so that your baby can get used to your smell.  We found this super cute blanket but don't worry, we won't start sleeping with it until we get the referral call - that might make it kind of stinky!

It's kind of funny - usually I am a very cheap, stick to the budget kind of person...but when it comes to baby stuff...uh oh is all I can say!!!

Thoughts About Tomorrow

Tomorrow is a special day:  Mother's Day.  I don't think I've written about it before, but this is a particularly hard day of the year for me...or at least it has been for the last few years.  As it approached this year, I tried to figure out how I felt about it, and to be honest, the only feeling I had about it was fear.  I have been scared about how I will feel.  

I remember Mother's Day three years ago, being full of hope, imagining that soon I would be a mom.  

I remember Mother's Day two years ago, when I knew that maybe that was not to be.  I remember an usher offering me one of the Mother's Day gifts at church, and when I told him I didn't need one, he replied with some off-hand comment, "What? Aren't you a mother yet?"  Of course, he could not know how deeply those words cut, and I hope he did not see my tears as I turned and fled.  

I remember Mother's Day last year...as I skipped church in order to avoid it altogether.

This year, the hope is back.  I know I am going to be a mom!  I just don't know when.  Every day I feel even more strongly a sense that God is at work, and that there is a purpose in all of this.  I know God understands the longings of my heart, and in His time He will bring us together with the child He has for us.  I believe that our little one has already been born, and I pray often for this precious child on the other side of the world.  I could not have known three years ago where this journey would lead, but now that we are almost there, I can say with certainty that I would not have it any other way.  The heartache has taught me to trust God.  The tears have driven me to Him.  And one day, I believe that it will all be even more clear as I look into some beautiful, dark eyes, and know that I had to wait for this child.  Worth the wait?  I'm pretty sure what my answer on that one will be!

So instead of wallowing this year, instead of comparing and wishing and grieving, I am thankful for all the difficult times the Lord has brought me through, and I am looking forward with great excitement to being a mom to a special little Korean baby!  

I know there are so many people struggling with infertility or the loss of a child who find Mother's Day especially painful, and I will be praying for them tomorrow.   I am looking forward to spending some time snuggling my adorable nieces and my teeny tiny nephew, and being thankful my mom and my mother-in-law.   

And I think, after writing all this, that I'm not so scared of Mother's Day after all!