When You've Got Nothing To Post About...

Post a picture of your dog...

Or a picture of your husband...

Or a picture of your dog WITH your husband...


Yep, it's been a slow week!

Submitting My Proposal

Brad and I have been going back and forth since we started the adoption about if we should travel or not (we could choose to have our child escorted and pick them up at the airport).

At the beginning, I was very much in favor of traveling. In fact, I didn't even give the escorting idea any thought - I just assumed we would travel. The more we talked about it, though, the more scared I got. You see, I often (more like always) get sick when I travel. I think it's because I am anxious and worried that I will get sick, and so I do get sick. I have done quite a lot of traveling, and have been to England, Guatemala, Uganda, Mexico...but the thought of being sick and caring for a baby seemed pretty overwhelming to me. So, we settled on the idea of having our child escorted.

Until last week that is. I somehow came upon a blog of a couple adopting from China, and they happen to be in China at the moment with their new daughter! It has been amazing to follow their trip, and made me realize that I really do want to travel. It is so important to me to get to experience our child's culture, to see where they were born, to meet the people who have cared for them...the list of reasons goes on and on.

I have decided that I do not want my fears to make me miss out on anything in life. And I really, really, don't want to miss out on this. I know that the Lord has always been faithful in the past. He has helped me to not be anxious, to do things I was very afraid of, and to handle it when I am sick. I know He will not fail me.

When I approached Brad about my change of heart, he told me that I could submit my proposal and he'd think about it! He was kidding...sort of...but I have decided to put together a list of all the reasons why I think we should travel :) If he truly feels it is best for us to have our child escorted, then I will trust him in this and hope that at some point we will get to see where our child is born.

But I must say...I hope my proposal is approved!

The Not-Knowing of Adoption

I've been feeling kind of strange lately. It's a very funny feeling to not know when you are going to become a mother. I grew up expecting that I would one day get to experience the joy of a positive pregnancy test, and nine months later, I would become a mother.

Our journey has turned out quite a bit different than I always thought it would. Instead of a pregnancy test, I have the joy of a completed home study! And instead of a set nine month period, I have....I DON'T KNOW!!!!! It is sometimes very hard not knowing how long it is going to be. I feel like if I could just know, then maybe that would somehow make the waiting easier.

Lately I've been feeling like I'm just...floating. Though I know and believe with all of my heart that I can trust the Lord's timing, waiting patiently for it is another thing altogether! Does that make any sense? I am eager for the next phase of life to begin, and yet I do not want to miss out on today. Which sometimes leaves me feeling a bit mixed up!

I sometimes find myself sighing, and wondering...

What will our baby look like?

Has our baby been born already?

What experiences in his or her birthmother's life led her to choose an adoption plan?

Is she sad? Is she okay? Does she have people to care for her through this difficult time? Will we ever meet her?

What will it be like for us to hold our child for the first time?

Will we be good parents?

What if they get sick? Will we know what to do?

What will it be like to hear them call me "mama" for the first time?

So many questions. Some of them, I may never know the answers to. Some of them I can only leave in the Lord's hands. And some of them...I will know the answers to someday!

My In-Law Blessings

I am so very blessed to have a family who loves me. When we are together, all is right with the world. We can laugh together and cry together, and I always know I can just be myself.

I am also blessed to have a wonderful "in-law" family. You always hear horror stories about mother-in-laws and the difficult relationships they sometimes have with the woman their son marries. I'm so thankful to say that none of that applies to my relationship with my mother-in-law, or with the rest of my "in-law" family. Yesterday we were able to get together and celebrate my mom-in-law's birthday, and I was reminded once again how truly blessed I am. It was good just to be together.

Another Month Down...

I am starting to really like the 19th of each month, because each "19th" is a milestone for us. As of today we have been on the waiting list for 7 months! It really is exciting how quickly time seems to be going and I hope that it won't seem like much longer until that amazing day comes when we receive "the call" about our referral.

To celebrate, I picked up a little something for our baby. You really can't go wrong with a rubber duckie! I find it so encouraging to have little baby things around the house as a reminder that the day is coming!!!!

Something interesting I've learned about Korea: On the right is a picture of a podaegi. This is a Korean blanket or carrier that mother's use to carry around their children. Apparently, when our child comes home, this is how they will be accustomed to "traveling".

Next week I am planning our first Korean meal (with a recipe stolen borrowed from another Rachel who is adopting from South Korea - thanks, Rach!) and I am so looking forward to learning more about the beautiful culture and people of South Korea. Wish me luck - I have a hard enough time getting American recipes to turn out right!!!

I seem to have lost track of time and I'm not even sure how long it's been since I last posted, but we are finally back online so I thought I'd post just to say hi :) The last few weeks have been so different without the internet or cable...it has been so good for us and has not been nearly as hard as we expected. Who knew - there is life outside of computers and television!!!!

So what have I been up to?

Absolutely loving this weather!

Lots of running and enjoying a Christmas gift (Garmin watch that tells me distance and pace)

Spending time with the Lord and learning many new things about faith from the book of Hebrews.

A couple of accidents in which Brad cut his head open and I slammed my finger in a door. Lots of pain, but thankfully no stitches or broken bones :)

An adoption meeting that encouraged us so much. Our time is coming! I realized the other day that usually when I see ladies in the park with their babies or shopping at the store for their little ones, a little part of me hurts and feels like, "Why can't that be me?" But lately, it doesn't hurt and it gets me all excited and I think to myself, "That is going to be me!"

So that's life in a nutshell...very, very good :)