Doggie Friends

Ever since our new friend, Little Dog,

has become a permanent fixture at our house,

she and Daisie have become best buds.

Little Dog is a 5 pound Chihuahua.

Daisie is a 40+ pound Basset Hound.

There is really only one problem.

Now Daisie seems to think that she, too, is a lap dog.

It's going to break her heart to find out the truth.

Confessions

This week I watched the video of Nathan from last November for the first time since...November. Until now, I could not bring myself to watch it again. It makes it too real, too painful, the wait too long. I feel so much guilt about that, but it is what it is. This week I watched it, and I cried, and I smiled, and my heart filled up so much as I realized that is my son!

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I went a little crazy and had way too much fun shopping for Nathan's care package. I tried 6 times but I can't fit it all into the gallon ziplock back I have. I think I need one with a zipper...I'm sure then I can make it fit. :)

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Tonight my heart was heavy as I ordered a bunch of books for Matthew. Books about adoption. Books about food allergies. Adoption is beautiful, but it's hard too. I hate that Matthew is going to have to wrestle through some difficult things in his life. I know there will be questions ahead and sometimes I wonder how I will handle that. It is part of his story, and we will always be honest with him. I pray we will have wisdom as we walk this road as a family.

And then there's the food allergies...that just makes me mad. Tonight I feel mad that I have to teach him that he can't just eat anything because it can make him really sick. I hate that I'm ordering books about an elephant who can't eat peanuts (even though he is going to love it because it's about an elephant!). I hate that this is a part of his life. I wish I could take that from him. I hate that he is going to have to go to school and deal with this. I hate that I won't always be there to protect him, and I know without a doubt this is going to take some major trusting in the Lord because honestly, I just want to freak right out when I think about it. I wish I could fix it but I can't. And so I order books and I take a deep breath and I pray and let go. Again.

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I'm thinking of quitting this half marathon training. I am really not sure I can do it. Several weeks of sickness and a serious lack of sleep have killed all motivation I had and I just don't know if I can keep up. I don't know what to do. I missed my run yesterday and felt like I could have done it today, but I didn't have time. Advice?

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That's all I've got. Phew. Feeling much better to have that all out!

Cutback Week

Last week was a cutback week in many ways.

In running, thankfully it was a cutback week - my long run Saturday was only 3 miles. I managed it (barely). I realized this week that training for a half marathon and having a toddler is much different than training for one without children. It turns out that a 4 mile run after sleeping only 4 (interrupted) hours the night before is hard. So hard that I quit after 2 miles.

It was a cutback week in pretty much every area of my life this week.

Cutback on housework, laundry, cooking. Just survive.

Cutback on playdates, friendships, leaving the house. Make it through the week.

But now it is Sunday, and a new week is beginning. I'm feeling ready to jump back into life now that Matthew has (almost) slept through the night 3 nights in a row!!!!

This weekend was great in so many ways. Full of so many tiny little things that made me smile:

A new haircut for my handsome little man.

And it didn't even stress me out to cut it this time

(turns out it really does just grow back!)

New pajamas.

Gotta love new pajamas.

This picture is pretty blurry but I just had to share

the funny face Matthew keeps making

whenever he is trying to get me to say "yes" to something.

"Pweeeease mama" with his lips sticking out...

it always makes me laugh, even if it doesn't get me to say yes :)

Some Good Stuff

Sickness, temper tantrums, sleepless nights...

it's just the stuff of life.

Knowing it happens to everyone doesn't seem to make it easier.

It's been a long week that has looked mostly like this around here:

Lots of t.v., lots of tears, lots of time stuck in the house.

Lots of prayers, lots of discussions about parenting with the hubby,

lots of hugs, lots of nebulizing, lots of screaming.

This week has felt like a lot.

But.

There have been good things, too.

Lots of reassuring from my mother that this is normal.

Lots of help from my sister, who let me take a nap today while she watched Matthew.

A nap, people. Oh yes, it was wonderful.

Lots of opportunities to watch my husband and realize

once again what an amazing guy I married.

Tons and tons of snuggles and kisses

from this little guy.

He just makes my heart ache with love.

Some more good stuff today -

learning that we will be getting new pictures, video and an update about Nathan sometime in April :) Oh to see his sweet face again...

It's been a tough week, with enough good stuff to get us through.

Thank you, Lord, for the good stuff.

And thanks for carrying us through the rest of it.

This Week's Long Run

After a long night again with Matthew, I thought the long run I had planned for today was a goner. Brad had planned to go with me but with Matthew still coughing pretty badly it was obvious to both of us that he needed a day at home, so I knew if I was going to run it would be alone.

I pretty much had myself talked out of it until I saw this:

With a sky that blue, how could I not run? I am so glad I did - it was an amazing run!

I did six miles in 1 hour and 3 minutes. I was so happy with this because last week I did five miles in 1 hour and 4 minutes! Which means that this week I was a lot faster :)

My times for this week's run:

Mile One: 11:15

Mile Two: 10:16

Mile Three: 11:05

Mile Four: 10:07

Mile Five: 10:34

Mile Six: 9:16 (my fastest mile EVER!)

Best of all, my knees and foot felt great, I figured out what I am going to share with my Jr. High girls when they come to my house in a couple of weeks, and the weather was perfect. I'm so glad I didn't put this run off until tomorrow!

Sentences About Today

It's been a long (but beautifully sunny!) day around here. The weather was the best we've seen so far this year, so my sister and I made plans to go to the park and run this morning. Those plans were almost derailed by a certain someone who decided to be up from 4:45am to about 6:45am. Curse you, molars. I always tell Brad that it is a really good thing that Matthew is so cute. It makes it harder to be grouchy when he wakes me up in the night over and over again. Harder, but not impossible :)

So when we got up for the day at about 7:45am, I thought there would be no way I could run. I am trying really hard to stick to my half marathon training plan and I am finally back on track! I ran 5 miles on Saturday, 3.5 miles on Monday, and today needed to do 4 miles. It sounded like way too much...and then I let the dogs outside and the warm sunshine hit my face. I was sold. Off we went to the park! Joanna (my sis) rollerbladed and I ran (oh so slowly today). It was hard but I did it! Afterwards we met up with a friend and had a lovely time playing and eating our snacks together.

Matthew had been coughing a bit last night but this morning seemed fine. We got home from the park and all of a sudden he was coughing like crazy, breathing really fast, had a fever, and was looking pretty pitiful. He has asthma and so little colds and things tend to hit him pretty hard, so I called the doc and got him in later in the afternoon.

After spending one and a half hours stuck in a tiny room with a two year old...we left the doctors office with a new prescription of oral steroids. Matthew was a rock star, and I kept thinking how the $1.99 I spent on a puzzle app for my I-Pod may have been the best money I ever spent.

Poor little buddy is doing a bit better tonight, but another hard part about sickness is that it makes him super itchy. So, back to wet pajamas we go. And now he's two, and realizes it's weird, and screams when we put them on. Once we get the outer pajamas on he's good, but really it must feel pretty strange and not good (in his words, "Gucky!").

Here's to hoping tomorrow does not start so early and that little man is feeling better!