You've Got to Be Quick

This morning I was trying to video Matthew saying "cracker" since it is just too cute. Our first attempt...well, as you can see, it didn't turn out exactly how I'd hoped!

Yep, Daisie is a well-fed doggie :) I am often not quick enough to stop this from happening. But on the bright side...there are never any crumbs!

Take two on saying "cracker":

I made another video after the first one, and of course he would not say "cracker" no matter how many times I asked...but when we were watching the video afterwards he was sitting on my lap and kept turning to me and saying "cracker" every single time he heard me asking him to say it on the video! Not helpful - but stinking cute!

I am SO Ready for March!

Tomorrow is the first day of March and I have never been more ready to see February come to a close! It has been a long and tiring month and I am very much looking forward to sunny skies and warmer weather...and hopefully no more trips to the ER or Urgent Care Stations.

Today we unfortunately had to visit the Urgent Care again as Matthew had a little accident. He fell and his mouth hit one of his toys. OUCH! Picture screaming, blood, and a mother on the verge of freaking out and that is what the scene was like here this afternoon. Thankfully he only cut that little flap of skin between his top teeth and his upper lip and it should heal on its own. The poor little guy has a fat lip and I just felt so bad for him this afternoon. I hope that March will be injury and sickness free!

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On a much brighter note...yesterday we got to go to a Korean Lunar New Year party and meet a bunch of new friends! It was so fun to see everyone, as well as all of the adorable children. It was funny to realize that I knew some of the people through their blogs (and they knew me!) or through forums. It was great to meet in real life!

The trip took about 1 hour 40 minutes. 20 minutes of it looked like this:

Aw, so happy with his bear blankie. Unfortunately the rest of the trip was less peaceful to say the least. Brad and I just had to laugh because we are going on a 14 hour car trip in a couple of months and we now think it may be the worst idea we've ever had :)

Once we arrived, things really picked up. Matthew ate and was much happier. He loved seeing all the other kids, and looked so handsome dressed in his hanbok.

So much cuteness in one room...!

Matthew surprised us yesterday by walking all over the place! He is usually kind of timid and cautious, still holding on to things a lot, but yesterday he was cruising all around the room. We were amazed and so proud of our boy!

The food was delicious and I was glad to have some Korean food again. I used to be so afraid to try new things but it turns out there are many Korean dishes I love. We had a wonderful time and were so glad we could get together with these families and make some new friends.

A Project and a Party

Staying at home can sometimes be a bit lonely, so I am very thankful to have several friends who also stay home with their kids. My friend Katie and I have a lot in common, such as little ones who are only a few days apart in age, and a love for knitting!

I have not worked on a knitting project since before Matthew came home - in fact, the last thing I knitted was a sweater for him! It was so neat to remember the times when I worked on it for him before I even knew who he was...and when I put it on him last month I kind of got emotional about it (I know, big surprise that I got emotional about something, right?!).

Since it was my first attempt at clothing, I was pretty proud of myself that it actually turned out looking like a sweater!

My friend Katie and I are now working on a project together (well, making one each!). Today she taught me how to use circular needles so that I won't have any seams to sew up. I am super excited about that! And hopefully at the end I will have something that looks like this (except green):

(And in case you were confused...that is not me!)

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I am very excited because tomorrow, Brad, Matthew and I are heading across the state to a Lunar New Year party with several families who have adopted from Korea. I cannot wait to meet all the little kiddos! From what I have read, it seems that the Lunar New Year is the most important holiday celebrated in Korea. It was actually celebrated in the middle of February this year, but our party is just a little late :) I am really looking forward to meeting more adoptive families and to see some old friends as well!

A Little Bit of Honesty

I had this happy, perky post going around in my head today, but...well, to be honest, I am just not feeling that perky. So that one will have to wait while I share a little bit about what is on my heart today.

I have always been a worrier. For as long as I can remember, I have worried and been anxious about anything and everything. This has been something I have struggled with my whole life - I remember as a little girl how I would get sick to my stomach at recess because I was so worried about having to go and play with friends. That is some hard core worrying!

The Lord has been dealing with me on this issue for a long time now. In some ways, I know I have gained victory in this area because I no longer get physically ill when I'm worried about stuff. But in other ways, I feel like I am just starting the journey.

About three days after Matthew came home, I experienced the deepest fear I think I have ever felt. I suddenly realized how completely in love with this little boy I was. I realized that if something happened to him...it would tear me apart. I realized that as much as I sometimes wish I was, I am not in control of everything in life. And that scared me. A lot. What if he gets sick? What if we are in an accident? What if someone takes him? What if....? And the list goes on, and on, and on.

I read on someone's blog once that it is even harder to trust the Lord with your child's life than with your own life. I think that is so true. This is what it comes down to - do I trust the Lord, even with this little one who I love so much?

I had just come to the conclusion that yes, I did trust Him and would let go of this fear...and then Matthew got sick. And then we found out about his allergies. To be honest, I have been struggling mightily these last few weeks. To know that something as stupid as a peanut could hurt him so badly, or even take him from me...it is frightening. To know that someone else might accidentally give him something with peanut or another nut in it makes my stomach go into knots. To know that I might accidentally do it...I don't even have words for that thought.

Now I know that there are many, many worse things we could be dealing with. I really do know that. In the big scheme of things, this is not the end of the world and I know that in time this will be our new "normal". As I work through it, though, it is scary. I am learning that I have to let go or I will drive myself crazy with worry. I have to decide if I truly believe what I say I believe. Do I really believe there is a God who is in control? Do I believe that He is good? Do I believe that no matter what happens, He will not leave me or abandon me? Yes, I do. My faith is being challenged, but in a good way I think. Growth is hard, but good. I have to trust Him.

Tonight Brad and I prayed for our sweet little Matthew. He is still struggling, and we don't know why. He continues to turn red on his face and arms almost every time he eats. Today it was worse than it has been and even Benadryl didn't seem to calm it down. It is obvious that he doesn't feel well. We don't know what to do...but we know the One who knows everything about our little guy, inside and out. We prayed for wisdom, and answers, and help. And we know that our God hears our prayers and will help us.

This verse has been on my heart a lot lately. Tonight I have peace because I know that my God can be trusted.

"You will keep in perfect peace him whose mind is steadfast, because he trusts in you.Trust in the LORD forever, for the LORD, the LORD, is the Rock eternal."

Isaiah 26:3-4

Snow Fun

I am so glad that Matthew is feeling better and that we can finally leave the house! In the last two days I have been to the library, gone on an out-of-town trip with a friend to find "safe" foods for Matthew, gone for a walk, and been sledding! We have been having so much fun!

Yesterday was so beautiful and sunny, so we just had to get outside. It was still pretty cold here (I think it didn't quite reach 40 degrees) but the sun made it feel really nice. I bundled up the baby, got Daisie ready to go, and off we went! We went to visit my sister (also known as "Aunt Jojo") since she doesn't live too far from our house, but sadly she was not home :( We took a picture to show her that we did try to come and visit!

Yesterday evening we had pizza with friends and then got to go sledding at their house. We had a blast! I was a little nervous about how Matthew would do (since the last snow exposure was not too well received) but he was much happier this time. I think mostly he doesn't like being in his marshmallow suit :) He cried a little but seemed to enjoy himself, especially riding down the little hill on an inner tube with mommy or daddy!

The best part - he didn't take an afternoon nap yesterday and was so worn out from sledding that he slept from 8pm last night until 8:30am today! We are thankful to be sleeping again :)

So Long, Bottles!

Tonight as I cleaned up the kitchen, it caught my eye. The bottle rack dryer thingy that has been sitting beside the sink since Matthew arrived. Suddenly the realization hit me - it doesn't need to be there anymore. It is still sitting there, with all of the clean and dry bottles on it, and has been for weeks...but it doesn't need to be. My baby doesn't drink from a bottle anymore.

Now, I know this happens to all babies :) It just seems like it came so fast! At about 13 months we switched him over to milk during the day, but we kept his night bottle because it is such a bonding time for us.

And then he got sick. He wasn't eating, was throwing up a lot, and we took a few days off from the bottle. Then we found out he was allergic to soy (or so we thought) so we assumed giving him soy formula wouldn't be good. Suddenly, without us even really noticing, our little boy doesn't get bottles anymore. And I didn't even get to say good-bye!

I will miss this snuggle time so much. Even though we read books and snuggle in the chair before bed, it isn't the same. When he took his bottle, he would stare up into my eyes and touch my face with his hands...these were some of the most precious memories I have from when he first came home. I will miss that. Everyone says they grow up too fast...now I know that is the truth!

{Matthew's first bottle here at home...

and a very flattering picture of me! HA!

I think I was feeling a little tired!}