The Soundtrack of My Life

I've been reflecting lately on the different seasons of life I have walked through over the last 15 years.  Times of joy, times of excitement, times of sorrow, times of grief, times of uncertainty...so many seasons.  When I look back on my life, I am often reminded of the songs that go with each season.  My life seems to have a soundtrack...songs that are connected with seasons.

A rough break-up....If You Want Me To (Ginny Owens)

Infertility...He's Always Been Faithful (Sara Groves), Yet I Will Praise (Vineyard), Praise You in the Storm (Casting Crowns)

Our first adoption journey...In the Waiting (FFH)

Home with Nathan...Worth it All (Rita Springer), So Far to Find You (Casting Crowns)

Waiting for Hannah...For a Thousand Years (Christina Perri)

Those are just a few that come to mind....there are so many more.  I have been reflecting a lot this week on the last year.  We made a choice last summer to bring home another little one, and it has changed me.  I have wrestled a lot over the last year with the "what if's" of Olivia's health.

What if there is more to her health condition than we know?

What if she really does have a brain tumor?

We said yes to bringing her home knowing this is a possibility.  We are not crazy, and we are not saints...we are simply trying to walk in obedience to God in this and we believe she is a treasure!  But I would be lying if I said I have not struggled a lot wondering what we will do or what it would do to our family...there were a couple of months where I laid awake at night unable to shut my mind off, and found myself waking up at 3am to stare at the wall for hours.

As the days went on, a new soundtrack started to play.

The Rock Won't Move (Vertical Church)

I Will Follow (Vertical Church)

None But Jesus (Hillsong)

Sovereign Over Us (Aaron Keyes)

Trust You, Jesus (Aaron Keyes)

Call on the Name (Vertical Church)

Cast My Cares (Tim Timmons)

These are the songs that play as I wash dishes and look out the window at my kiddos playing in the backyard.  They are the songs that play as I turn over in my mind the "what if's".  They are the songs that play as I chop vegetables and remember His faithfulness.

As the days went on, the new soundtrack impressed itself on my heart and the Word of God embedded itself deeply in my heart.  This is what I know:  Jesus Christ is the same yesterday and today and forever. (Heb 13:8).  He won't change, no matter what comes in our lives.  I know who He is and I know He is enough.

I sleep well at night now.  These days, I drift off without worrying.  The anxiety is gone, the fear has lost its grip, and now all I think is how strange it is that I don't worry about it.  It's a pretty big thing...it would be normal to worry!  But I'm learning that I don't need to worry even about the things that seem like they need worrying about!

I am working on packing, and two weeks from today I will meet a little girl who will be my daughter forever.  I can't seem to wrap my head around that.  She is loved....but we are strangers to her.  Although I can't wait to meet her, my heart aches for what is ahead for her.  People think, "Oh, she's little, she'll get over it, she doesn't really know."  But I know better.  I have heard the cries of little ones who have lost everything, and my heart aches because I know how hard this will be for her.  Now my prayers turn from all my concerns and I pray for God to comfort and prepare and help our little one.  He is faithful...in all things He is faithful.

The Finish Line

We are so close!  The finish line is in sight and this week we will know the day when this sweet girl will be placed in our arms forever!

Earlier this week our paperwork was finished up and our agency let us know we were waiting for our travel approval.  They expected it would be 1-2 weeks (I have even see people wait 3 weeks recently) so you can imagine my shock on Friday morning at 6:30am when I checked my email (as every crazy adoptive mother does!) and found that we had received travel approval from China in just two days!  We can go and get our girl!!!

Tomorrow we should find out when our consulate appointment (CA) has been scheduled and then we can book our flights!  We hope to be leaving in just over two weeks but it may be three if the consulate appointments are booked.  We gave our top 5 dates for CA and will hear soon when our appointment is.  It will be so good just to know!

In other news...

Let's see.

Nope, this has been pretty consuming!

Well, I had an x-ray on Friday to check if I have a stress fracture in my left foot (last time was my right).  Sigh.  I have been having pain for months and finally got around to asking the doctor about it.  I'm so frustrated with not being able to run or walk even without pain.

Hannah is over the moon excited to be going with us to China.  We are....ahem...how shall we say a little nervous to be taking her with us!  We believe it is the best choice for our family but we know that does not mean it will be easy necessarily.  We are praying she does really well with all the traveling, being away from home, time changes, meeting a new sister....what an adventure this will be!

The boys are doing really well with the thought of us being away.  We talk about it a lot, they remember when we went to get Hannah, we all know we will be sad to be apart, but we also know it will be okay and in the end we'll be all back together again.  I'm so thankful that my parents are able to stay with the boys while we are gone.  I think they will have a blast!

Matthew lost his first tooth ever yesterday!  It was a very exciting time at our house :)  He is growing up so quickly.  

We have lots and lots to do but I feel surprisingly calm.  I am praying that I can be present with the kids these last few weeks even though there is so much to do.  Everything is about to change again and I treasure this time as we count down the days to adding another precious treasure to our family!

Adoption News!

Things are happening, paperwork is moving, we are getting CLOSER!  

Today we got great news...

We are so thrilled that our Letter of Approval (LOA) arrived from China today!  This is a huge step and we thank God it was nearly half as long a wait as it would normally be.  This means we are officially matched with Olivia!

Up next...a whole bunch more steps that have letters like I800, NVC, GUZ, A5, TA....please pray with us that they go quickly and that we receive Travel Approval before the end of April!  The countdown is on and I know it's going to fly by!

As an added bonus, someone from our agency is in China right now and will be visiting the area where Olivia is, so we hope to have new pictures and video in just a few weeks!  It's starting to all get very real....!

Closer and Closer

Every day I feel it...we are getting closer and closer to Olivia coming home!  I am so anxious to meet this little girl that has occupied our thoughts and prayers for the past months.  We are praying for that LOA from China...I remember with Hannah's adoption that things felt like they were really moving after that point!

We've decided after tons of deliberating to take Hannah with us to China.  There are a whole bunch of reasons and even though it may not seem like it, we really think it is the best option for our family.  I am excited and super nervous about how things will go taking her on that looooooooonnnnng flight!

We have made some major changes around our house this week, splitting up the kids into the two bedrooms and moving our bedroom somewhere else in the house.  This seems to be alleviating the pressure in our house so much as there is so much more room to play on the main floor!  I just love it even though it is making nights more difficult for the time being.

Yesterday we got great news - someone from our adoption agency is heading to China in a couple of weeks and she will be visiting with our Olivia!  We will get new pictures and video, and we get to send her a care package!  I am so, so thrilled.  I know she won't understand, but it is very special for us to get to send her something, and I also hope it helps her foster family in the transition ahead to see how much we love her and a little about us.  I can't wait to go shopping!

We are all a little sick at the moment, nothing major, but it has made me realize just how few times this winter we have been sick!  It used to be all the time, every week someone was sick.  Last winter was so difficult!  I am so grateful for our good health this winter.

It's early in the year but I am starting to think about school for next September and make some plans. It is fun and overwhelming and exciting and stressful and I'm just thankful for the opportunity to homeschool right now.  We continue to reassess and evaluate and discuss sending the kids to school but for our family right now this is just a great fit, so we press on in this direction.  It will be interesting to add in another little one (my eyes just got really big at the thought of it....) but I'm sure we will find our new normal after a while.  I am so ready for her to be here with us!

Blessed Beyond Measure

There really are no words for how full my heart feels tonight.  I am absolutely blown away by what God has done for us.  I am humbled, overwhelmed, astounded...it is just so crazy.

Three months ago we had a $14,000 need for our adoption.  We didn't know where it would come from.  This whole adoption has been so much more of a step of faith for our family than we have ever experienced before.  Truthfully, it was scary.  I like to plan, I like to know what is going to happen and how everything will work out.  This adoption has been the opposite of that in so many ways.  My faith has been stretched, and changed, and it has been deepened day by day as I have seen the hand of God at work in our lives.

He has done what only He could do.  He has provided everything we need in ways we never could have imagined!  It has been an incredible, amazing journey and I'm so glad we had this need so that we could see just how BIG He really is!

I came across this verse at the beginning of our adoption journey and it became my prayer:

"Help me, O Lord my God;
Save me according to
Your lovingkindness.
And let them know that
this is Your hand,
You, Lord, have done it."
Psalm 109:26-27

I feel like our need HAD to be big so that it could be so obvious - He is the only one who could meet our need!

How has He done this?

• Through friends and family who have donated to our adoption fund
• Through a $3000 matching grant from Lifesong that at this point is only $300 from being complete!
• Through a grant from our church's adoption ministry
• Through a refund from our home study agency because someone in China decided LAST YEAR to change post placement requirements for adoptions (and we had prepaid for post adoption visits for Hannah and Olivia!)
• Through a grant from JSC Foundation (we just heard today!!)
• Through an unexpected raise for Brad that totally came out of the blue
• Through my mom crocheting gloves and selling them to friends to raise funds for our adoption

He has blessed us in ways that will never be forgotten.  My heart is changed; my faith is changed.  

I just wanted to share one last thing.  At the beginning of this adoption right before we decided to adopt Olivia, a friend at church gave a lesson during Sunday School about the Israelite spies going into the land that God has said He would give to them (Number 13).  They came back and gave their report: it was good, like God had told them.  BUT...the people were powerful, and the cities were fortified and large, and the people were stronger, and the people were HUGE!  Humanly speaking, everything said they should not do this.  There was only one reason they should do it: God said to.

As I read over this passage over and over again, the question came to me:

Is that enough?

Is it enough when God tells me to do something, even if there is every reason in the world why it is a bad idea?  

As we wrestled with the thought of adopting again, there was a list (a long one!) of reasons why, humanly speaking, this was a bad idea.  Here's the list....from my journal :)

• Three little ones who are needy
• A small house
• Finances
• We're spread so thin!
• We're so tired!
• Leaving the kids for 2 weeks
• Olivia's medical condition could be serious
• Oh the paperwork!

And yet, as time went on it became clear to us that God was saying GO!  Bring her home!  And the question was...

Is that enough?  Is it enough that God says do it?

It was a big step of faith for us to say yes.  Honestly, there have been some really difficult days at the Hunt house over the last few months.  We have dealt with struggles and challenges with our kids (one in particular) that came out of nowhere and have pretty much knocked the wind out of us.  It has been hard in ways I cannot explain.  My list of why not got even longer!  I thought maybe this was a mistake.  I wondered why we said yes.

But tonight I sit here more convinced than ever of God's faithfulness.  He will not fail us.  I know this deep within me.  No matter what comes.  Even if her medical condition is something I can't imagine facing.  Even if adjustments are hard, for her or for our current kids.  Even if our house is full and loud and we are tired and stressed.  He. Will. Not. Fail.

He is enough.

Using the Space

If we ever get to move, closet space will be near the top of the list for things I will be looking for!  We have so few storage closets and it makes things a little difficult as we keep adding people (and therefore stuff!) to the house.  With another little one on the way and the addition of a bunch of new stuff for Christmas/birthdays, I decided it was time for another purging and organizing session!

The kids will all be sharing a room for a while until we can get another bedroom build in the basement, which means one closet for four kids!  Yikes!  I had already done a lot of sorting of the kids clothes and this is what the closet looked like before:

The bottom organizer was used to hold toys and a whole bunch of miscellaneous things were on either side.  The top shelf held sheets, blankets, and more miscellaneous things that couldn't seem to find a home.

I came across this idea on Pinterest and instantly knew it was perfect for us!  The closet is divided into four sections...each child could have a section to hang up their clothes and in the center were two six-cube organizers (12 cubes altogether) which meant that each child could have three bins. Perfect!  The goal was to have everything out of the dresser in the bedroom so that all the clothes were in the closet.  The bedroom is small and most of the kids toys are in there (a few in the living room).

We already had one six-cube organizer and with gift cards and waiting for a sale I was able to get another one without paying anything!  Score!  All we had to buy was one shelf, one long dowel rod (to be cut into four shorter sections to hang clothes on), hardware, and bins for the shelves.  Since the canvas bins were almost $6 each, I decided to check out the dollar store where I found these plastic bins for only $1 each!  They don't look as nice but I think they will hold up well to the kids pulling them in and on all the time.

The finished result:

Things I love:

• It is super easy to put the kids clothes away (and they are able to help me!).  We fold pants in half to go in the bins and t-shirts in half as well.  They each have a little blue bin for socks/underwear on the lower shelf.  
• The kids can all reach their bins and get themselves dressed easily (they did this before but often messed up everything in their drawers since the dresser was packed so full).
• Two of the kids can reach their hanging up clothes - before none of them could.
• There is room for some of the bigger toys and trucks at the bottom of the closet and it makes the bedroom look less cluttered.
• We are still using the dresser (for toys right now) and hope to get another bookshelf to organize the toys, but for now at least it stays clean and there is somewhere to put everything!

It has been fun finding ways to make our little house work for us and has been a good experience to get rid of clothes and toys, keeping only what we need.  I'm a big believer in "less is more" and I would rather have a few things we really like and use/play with than a house full of stuff we don't care about!

Now to fill up that last section with clothes for Olivia....eeeeeekkkkk!!!!