Wednesday, October 03, 2012

Decisions, Decisions

As parents, we make lots of decisions for our children.  Some of them are small, and some of them are life-altering.  It has been weighing on me lately what a big responsibility this is.  God has blessed us with two (soon to be three!) precious children and it is our job to follow Him and to make decisions for our little ones.

We are facing some big decisions in the coming months and years about Nathan.  He was born with Microtia, and his outer ears did not form correctly before he was born.  He also has some hearing loss associated with this, because his ear canals are really narrow.

We are blessed to live in a country where we have access to wonderful medical care.  There are actually a lot of options available to us, and we are now in the beginning stages of researching and learning about these options so that we can make a big decision.  Some of these surgeries can be done as early as 3 years old, and Nathan will be 3 in January, so we have decided to start our inquiries now.

Before Nathan came home, we knew that this would come.  We knew that surgery and reconstruction was probably in store for him down the road.  What I didn't know was that when it is your child you are talking about...it's really hard.

It's hard to make decisions about changing him.  We love him so much and honestly wouldn't change a thing...if this world was perfect.  But it's not, and so we grapple with thoughts about making changes to his appearance to protect him from harsh and cruel people.

We feel very excited about the possibility that he might be able to have surgery to improve or even restore his hearing!  What an amazing thing that would be!  We are taking steps to look into this possibility and I must admit I am excited for that part of it.

As thoughts about these decisions have been pressing in on my mind lately, one thought continues to echo in my heart:

"Be still and know that I am God."

The Lord is walking this road with us, gently leading us, always hearing our prayers, and He asks me once again to trust Him with this little boy I love so much.

Can I ask you to pray for us as we walk this journey?  We know it is a long road ahead but we trust that God will faithfully guide us every step of the way.

Friday, September 28, 2012

Korea Trip: Meeting the Foster Moms

When we were in Korea, I typed out this huge long post about the day that we met the boys' foster mothers.  And then I went to publish it to my blog...and it disappeared into cyber space, never to be seen again.  Awesome.

So we'll call this, "Take Two".  It's always hard to rewrite something you've already written once, but I really want to remember this special day, so here goes!

We arrived on Thursday evening, and had meetings set up for Friday morning at both of the boys' Korean adoption agencies.  We knew we wanted to be ready to go first thing in the morning so even though we were dead tired from the trip we sat down with the map and the subway info and made sure we were all set.


We were so wiped out that we slept really well the first night, but we found ourselves wide awake around 5am.  We grabbed some breakfast at a nearby convenience store, got everything together and headed out to the subway.

Oh. My. Word.

That was quite the experience!  We were there at rush hour apparently.  Seoul has about 10 million people...and I'm pretty sure all of them were crammed into the subway car with us that Friday morning.  It was crazy!  As the crowd carried us into the train, Brad and I just kind of looked at each other wondering what in the world was happening.  We laughed so hard after the train emptied out a bit.  That was the only time we experienced this - from then on we did not take the train during rush hour!

It is so hard to put the emotions of this day into words.  I felt so overwhelmed walking the streets of Seoul, knowing this was where our boys were.  Everywhere I looked, little boys reminded me of Matthew and Nathan.  It was so surreal to realize we were actually in Korea!

As we reached Nathan's adoption agency, emotion overtook me, tears filled my eyes and there was a huge lump in my throat.  I looked at this plain, unassuming building thinking, "He was here!  This is where my baby spent the first few months of his life."


Meeting with Nathan's foster mother was something I will never forget.  We didn't really know much about her before meeting her.  As we walked into the room with a woman who would translate for us, his foster mother rose from the couch and quickly came to embrace me.  What a beautiful moment!  She started talking quickly, excitedly, smiling and gesturing.  Over the next 45 minutes we were blessed to hear over and over again how much she and her husband love Nathan, how much they miss him, that they think he is so smart and wonderful!  We happen to agree :)

One of the biggest blessings for me was to hear some little details about our boy that I have always wondered about.  It is a hard thing to miss many months of your child's life and to miss some of those important first milestones.  I was so thrilled to learn when Nathan first learned to walk!  Apparently he was 9 months old, and he pulled up on the couch one day, and just two days later started walking!  Brad and I laughed because that is just so Nathan :)  You really can't slow him down at all.

Nathan's foster mother had 40 foster children, and Nathan was her last!  She said that she will always remember him, and she hopes we can bring him back to Korea to visit her someday.  We told her we hope we are able to, and we really meant it.  She is a very special woman and we are so thankful for all she did to care for our sweet boy.

After this meeting it was off to Matthew's agency!


We soon found out that the message had never reached Matthew's foster mother - she didn't even know we were coming!  But DJ, the woman who works in the international adoption department, phoned her and let her know we were there, and she said she would come right away!  She lives about 1 hour away from the agency but came immediately - how amazing is that?  We were more than happy to wait.

While we were waiting, DJ very kindly took us out to lunch to a traditional Korean restaurant.  I was a little nervous - I am quite adventurous when it comes to food, but I don't think my stomach has gotten the message, and usually different food makes me sick quite easily.  We sat on the floor and I was happy to see we were having Korean BBQ ribs.  It was amazingly delicious!  I did okay with the chopsticks, although in Korea they use stainless steel chopsticks which are very tricky when your hands get wet!!!  Still, it was a great experience.


When Matthew's foster mom arrived, I immediately felt this bond with her that I just can't explain.  She is just a little older than us, and even though she didn't speak a word of English I could just tell that we would be friends if we could get to know each other.  It was really strange!  We smiled at each other a lot, but didn't get much of a chance to talk because we were at the restaurant.  Still, it was so great to be together, to be able to give her some gifts and photos of Matthew, to hug her.  She said she could tell Matthew was very happy from the photos :)  

When it came time for us to leave, I will never forget our good-bye out on the street.  We hugged and hugged, both of us crying, sharing a common love for a dear little boy, and we just thanked each other over and over again.  I am so grateful for all she did to care for Matthew until he could come home.

Wow, it is emotional even writing about it again!!!  This was probably the best part of the trip for me - I felt like I learned so much about my boys' past and that meant so much to me.

We took the subway home, ate sandwiches for dinner, did a little shopping at a very cool nearby market (Insadong - very close to Somerset, the hotel we stayed at), and went to bed really early.


We could already tell...we love Korea!

Wednesday, September 26, 2012

Totally Late, But Still Exciting News...

We got some great news while we were in Korea...

our agency emailed to let us know that as of Sept 14th we are



(Dossier to China!)

This is a huge step - 

our dossier is a compilation 

of tons of paperwork,

hours of work,

5 (yes, five) trips to the doctors office 

trying to get our forms filled out correctly...

it's all DONE!

Now that it is in China, 

we wait for LID (log in date)

and more importantly

LOA

(Letter of Acceptance)

which is basically when we are 

officially matched with China

and approved to adopt Hannah!

Our agency seems to think we may have LOA

in a couple of months.

From there, it is about 2-3 months until we travel!

Everyone counts the days until their LOA

(literally, people say, "I'm on day 47 

waiting for LOA" or whatever!)

but I've decided that has the possibility

of turning me into a crazy person.

(Ok, crazier person)

So I'm not going to count.

And you can't make me.

I know, I'm such a rebel, right? :)

We're getting closer and closer

and I just can't wait!

Monday, September 24, 2012

Home and Celebrating!

After a long day of traveling, we finally arrived home yesterday evening!

To say I was happy to see my boys is a huge understatement.  It felt like a piece of me was missing the whole time we were away.

I was disappointed to not be able to blog much from Korea so I am hoping to share some memories over the coming weeks.  It felt like we were there for months because we went so many places and experienced so many things!  It was an emotional, amazing, exhausting, wonderful 11 days and I will never forget the people we met and all I learned.

Today has been a little rough - you know how it is, you come home exhausted, have a ton of laundry and unpacking to do, you want to just sit with the kids and hug them all day, it's 1pm but feels like 2am...just a weird day!  Our kids handled our being away better than I expected, although Nathan did really struggle.  This morning he was really emotional and kept having melt-downs over nothing, but after a good nap he seemed much happier.  

We had lots of reasons to celebrate today - not only did we get to come home to our kids, but today is my Mom's birthday, and Matthew's Family Day!  Three years ago we met our little guy, and I became a Mom.  It was really special being at the airport yesterday where 3 years ago we first got to hold him, and to think about the long journey he made to join our family.


Matthew has blown me away with how well he handled our being gone.  He seems so grown up to me.  He kept coming up to me today and saying, "I just need some Mama lovin'!" and we would just cuddle and cuddle until he was ready to get down.  He is so sweet and precious and I can't believe I get to be his Mom!


More about Korea to come...I still can't believe I was just in Korea.... :)

Wednesday, September 19, 2012

Jeju Island in Pictures

































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Saturday, September 15, 2012

Typhoon...

In our meeting with Nathan's foster mother, they asked us about our plans for the rest of the week. We told them that in two days (on Sunday) we were scheduled to fly to Jeju Island, which is south of South Korea.
The ladies looked us each other then asked if we knew about the typhoon. We sort of laughed and said that yes, we had heard they had just had one. No, they replied, did we know about the typhoon that was coming on MONDAY????
Um, nope, didn't know about that.
We got back to the hotel, found an English news station, and...








Oh dear, a typhoon. Coming straight for South Korea.
I will admit it, I had a bit of a freak out. On the inside. What would we do? Would our tour be cancelled? I didn't think we could change our tickets home. Where would we stay? Good grief!
Thankfully the hotel staff here have been amazing. They called and talked to several people for us, and this morning we found out our tour is still scheduled. We have been praying and praying about if we should go, and we have decided to go as planned. The typhoon is going to be very large when hitting Okinawa but they are forecasting that it will lose most of its power before it gets to Korea (down to a category one). This means it will probably be a lot of rain (rather than very high winds). We believe it is safe enough to go and we would hate to miss out on seeing all of Korea. Plus we don't really have money to pay for a hotel in Seoul for a week!!
I feel at peace about going and I am glad that it seems to be working out for us to go. Things were very uncertain and stressful for the last 24 hours and I'm glad we know what is happening. We know our lives are in God's hands wherever we go and we don't feel like we're taking an excessive risk. I know it may be hard for our families who are back home worrying about us but we pray they will know God's peace as well. We hope to still be able to blog as we begin the tour!!




We are having so much fun and I love Korea so much already!
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