Things I've Learned from Loving Seth

It has been a difficult couple of weeks.  The weight of sadness has been heavy and our hearts have been aching.  Every plan for the future had our Seth in it and trying to wrap our heads around the fact that now he will not be here with us has been so hard.

Yet even in our sadness, we have hope.  The Lord has brought comfort through His Word and through our families and friends.  We have felt so loved and we are so thankful for all who have cared for our family and grieved with us for Seth.

Last Saturday I had some time in the house by myself (which is a pretty rare thing!).  As I cleaned up the kitchen, I talked to God about the week.  It wasn't long before the "why" question came out of my mouth.  But as the tears fell, I realized that my "why" question wasn't, "Why did he die?"

It was, "Why did I have to love him?"

What if I had never seen his sweet face that day on Facebook?  What if I had passed by the post and not opened up the link and read about him?

I wouldn't be hurting now.  I could have missed this.

But as I cried, the Lord showed me what else I would have missed.

I would have missed an opportunity to see the incredible power and the BIGNESS of my God.  I have seen it firsthand - nothing is impossible to God.  He has moved mountains these last few months, for us, for Seth.  I would have missed seeing His powerful answers to desperate prayers.

I would have missed the chance to understand God's heart more.  I can see now and understand more fully how God loves me.  By the world's standards, Seth did not have much to give.  He couldn't see, or walk, or talk, and yet to me he was a priceless treasure.  I just loved him and longed to be with him.  I can understand now a little more how deeply God loves me.  Not for what I can do, not for what I can bring to Him - for that is nothing.  And yet He loves me desperately and longs for me to know Him.  He sent Jesus to die in my place, to make a way for me to be forgiven so that I can be with Him!  He just loves me.

I would have missed so much if I hadn't seen Seth that day.  I would have missed the chance to teach my kids about compassion and that every person is precious in the eyes of God.  I would have missed getting to show them that God hears and answers prayers - for they have seen it and lived it these last few months!

It is not what we hoped for or expected, but we are thankful to our gracious God anyway.  We are thankful for God's great mercy in taking Seth to a beautiful place for his last week on earth where he was valued, loved, cared for, fed, held...and he did not die alone.  He was loved by so many!  I am thankful for the lives he has touched and the ways he has changed us.  We will never be the same.  We are thankful for God's mercy and goodness and the ways that has been revealed to us these last few months.  We are thankful for peace that passes all understanding.  He has been so good to us.

We won't ever, ever forget our sweet boy.  His picture will always be on our wall, his story will always be told, and we will always thank God for the time we had to love him.  I'm so glad I got to love him.