Christmas Thoughts

Merry Christmas!

The last few days have been absolutely wonderful. Having Brad home with me is such a gift - it feels like I've been on vacation, even though I haven't gone anywhere! Having his company throughout the day, someone to laugh with and talk to, has been such a blessing. We have truly done nothing the last few days! I can't post most of our pictures because we are in our pajamas in most of them :) Yep, it's been that good!

My birthday was lovely and relaxing, being with two people I love so very much. And I didn't even have a meltdown about turning 30 like I expected to. It's funny how much younger 30 is once you get to it compared to how old it feels when you're, say, 20! In some ways, I feel like life is just beginning.

Christmas was more of the same - cuddles and movies and playing with new toys. Brad and I made our very first roasted chicken dinner and it turned out to be delicious! I was very proud of us.

Somehow I feel like now that Christmas has passed, and Matthew has been here for 3 months, something has happened. I don't know how to describe it exactly, but somehow in the last week or two, the feeling of being completely overwhelmed most of the time is starting to fade! I haven't written about it much, because for some reason I have also struggled with a bit of guilt that sometimes, I find being a mom very, very hard. Not hard in that I don't want to do it - there is never a second that I would trade it. Just hard in the sense that I often feel completely and utterly at a loss in knowing what to do. Like on Christmas night when Matthew woke up and screamed from about 10:30pm till 3:30am. And I didn't know why or how to fix it. I find that so hard.

But somewhere along the way, I'm just realizing that it's okay that I don't have the answers! And I'm learning how to chill out a bit...which is hard for me! I like to worry and fret and stress. That's my "thing". Lately, though, God has just been bringing peace and rest to my heart about all of this. He's showing me over and over again that I don't need to fear, because He is with me!

I've been so thankful of that reminder this Christmas -

"The virgin will be with child and will give birth to a son,

and they will call Him Immanuel - which means, 'God with us.'"

Matthew 1:23

I'm so thankful that He is with us - that He is with me! I cannot imagine my life without Him.

I hope you had a wonderful Christmas and time with your families!

A Birthday for Momma

"Wait a minute...my mom is HOW old today? THIRTY????"

"That is really, really old. How did this happen?????"

Baby boy, I am wondering the very same thing :)

Being "The One"

Have you ever been holding a baby or child who is crying and crying, and then their mom comes over, picks them up, and they stop? I always wanted to be that to someone. And now, I am!

I love that when he sees me, he reaches his little arms up to me and wants me.

It is an amazing feeling to be able to stop a child's tears (not every time, mind you!) just by holding him close and being with him. To be able to comfort him and take away his sadness...just because I'm his mom. It fills my heart up like I never knew was possible.

I love that I'm the one he wants.

Want to know a secret? He's the one I want, too!

Our First Christmas Together

If you only saw our pictures from our family Christmas last Saturday, you would think it was a pretty laid back, relaxing kind of day. Unfortunately (or perhaps fortunately), the pictures don't tell the whole story. Somehow we did not capture the little boy who was not feeling well, who cried and was unhappy and wouldn't eat and who melted down in a big way a few times. We (thankfully) also did not capture the momma who was pretty stressed out by this and who was a bit disappointed that Matthew's first Christmas with us was not exactly how I'd pictured it...to say the least.

BUT...

When I look back at these pictures, I smile. Because despite all of those things, my boy is here with me. He was cranky, but he was in my arms! He was sad, but I got to comfort him! And we got to spend the day with my family, laughing and making memories and celebrating the birth of our Savior! So really, even though it didn't go as planned...it was wonderful.

Nana and Papa had so much fun spending time with Matthew!

Christmas kisses

We did see some Christmas smiles :)

Aunt Sarah is pretty funny!

Hanging out with Aunt Jo and Aunt Sarah

Of course our traditional Christmas dinner,

complete with paper hats (it's a British thing!)

Matthew woke up from his nap and probably

wondered what in the world was going on!

We didn't want him to feel left out...

I am so thankful for the time I got to spend with my family.

There really is nothing like being together!

Random

I got this idea from Kristen's blog - I needed something to get me started!

Outside my window... cold and gray...brrrr!

I am thinking...I need to wake Matthew up soon so that we have time to get ready to go and pick up my sister. I hope he wakes up happy!

I am thankful for...my family, who are on their way here right now to celebrate Christmas tomorrow!

I am wearing...a shirt I got for $1.97 and jeans that are getting just a little too snug...come on Spring, I need to be outside running again!

I am remembering...all the things God has brought me through over the last 10 years as I get ready to turn 30! Many deep waters...but so much joy has come my way during these years!

I am going...to blowdry my new, short hair :) I mean, the hair isn't new - it's just new that it's short.

I am currently reading...the book of Esther in the Bible, and a book called "Learning of God" by missionary Amy Carmichael, and the fourth book in a really good series by Judith Pella that I can't remember the name of right now.

I am hoping...that I'm not too sad for Christmas or my birthday (as I won't get to see my family on those special days) and that I remember how much I have to be thankful for as I watch this little one open presents:

On my mind...a friend going through a painful trial.

Noticing that...it is silent! It is so rarely silent around here...wow, silence is very quiet!

Pondering these words...
"He who hath lead will lead

All through the wilderness,

He who hath fed will surely feed...

He who hath heard thy cry

Will never close His ear,

He who hath marked thy faintest sigh

Will not forget thy tear.

He loveth always, faileth never,

So rest on Him today--forever."

~Written to missionary Amy Carmichael by her mother

From the kitchen...a present to finish putting together for my mom (before she arrives!)

Around the house...warmth, coziness, holiday smells...soon to be lots of laughter...love it!

One of my favorite things...a husband who can make me laugh at 6:30 in the morning.

I need to...go and get ready!

Learning New Things

I love seeing Matthew learn new things.

I love that he is getting more and more steady on his feet every day.

I love the way his little bum sticks out when he walks!

I love that he looks like a little old man with his walker.

I love that he is so proud of himself when he makes it across the room.

I love that if I'm near, he always reaches out for me and wants to hold my hands.

And I love that I finally made a video where I wasn't talking too much!!!! Because you have just GOT to see this cuteness!