All Kinds of Emotions

We leave in two days.

Lots of emotions tonight.

I feel pretty ready.  Our bags are mostly packed, I have all the info ready for my parents about the boys, the house is clean, the laundry is done...

The excitement has been building these last few days.  Anyone who knows me knows that I am usually  an anxious, worried, freak-out kind of person.  I'm so thankful for all that the Lord has taught me over the last few years.

"Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God.  And the peace of God, which surpasses all comprehension, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus."  Philippians 4:6-7

I've learned, over and over again, that this is true.  What God says is true.  He means it when He says He will give you peace if you bring your requests to Him.  So I'm not anxious, worried, or freaked out about the upcoming trip or the thought of being away from the boys for 12 days.

I am sad about it though.  Today, all of a sudden, the thought of being away from my guys for so long just made me so very sad.  I love them so much!  I love spending every day with them.  I love the little things they say, hearing them sing and laugh, breaking up fights (ok, I don't love that part!), hugging and kissing them whenever I feel like it, holding them when they're hurt or upset...it's hard thinking about missing all of that.

I know it's not that long.  I know it will be over before we know it and Lord willing we'll be all together again in just a couple of weeks.  It's just hard to be away from people you love so much.

You know what I super excited about though?  Spending 12 days with my dear husband, Brad, without the interruptions of every day life.  To have an adventure with him :)  To eat new foods and see new places and learn things and experience things together.  This is such a busy season of life with little ones.  I can't wait to spend so much time together!

Not long now...

Pictures I Love

The boys were laughing and playing so sweetly together yesterday...

I grabbed my camera to capture the moment...

and of course that was the exact second Matthew decided

for no reason at all

to lean over and smack Nathan.

Brotherly love!

At least they get over it quickly!

Nathan loves his backpack and his Pooh Bear.

I used to put this shirt on Matthew

but it never quite fit with his personality...

then Nathan came along and I said to myself,

"Ah, yes, this shirt was meant for him!"

Nathan standing at the end of the slide

waiting to catch Matthew!

These boys sure do love bubbles!

Happy days are here again :)

A Year Later

August 2011

August 2012

All About Nathan

I remember a few days after Nathan came home, I sat down to type a blog post and I titled it, "All About Nathan."  Then I stopped, and realized there was no way I could title it that...because I knew hardly anything about Nathan!  But I was learning, and now, almost 15 months later, I feel like I can really type a post entitled, "All About Nathan."

Be still my heart.  This little guy, he has absolutely changed my life.  I didn't know my heart could feel so full of love - when I look at Matthew and Nathan, I feel like I might burst!

Nathan and I got off to a rocky start, but my oh my, how that has changed!  I am so thankful for the way our bond has developed over time.  I notice changes all the time, and even after a year I have noticed some significant changes in Nathan in recent months.

One of my favorite changes...I feel like he has finally let his guard down and let me in!  I can't really even explain it, but the way he looks at me, and talks to me, and squeezes me with all his might with a huge smile on his face...it's amazing.  

Bedtime used to be one of the worst times of day for me, the time I dreaded the most.  It was a battle, it was exhausting, and Nathan was just so stressed out.  The last several months, though, have been absolutely wonderful!  We turned a corner, and it is just so great.  Every night we each put a boy to bed, and we alternate with the kids (although Brad takes Nathan more often than I do).  Tonight was my night to take Nathan to bed, and as I laid down beside him, he snuggled as close to me as he could, with his face an inch away from mine, and I held his hand and sang him a song and just like that he was asleep!  Some nights as I lie beside him, he will suddenly start saying, "Mama. Mama! MAMA!" until I open my eyes and say, "What?"...and he'll smile and say, "Love you, Mama!"

Best. Thing. Ever.

Plus, he's cute as can be and I can't stop snuggling and kissing and hugging him all day long!

He loves to color, do crafts, glue, use scissors...he's always up for anything!  Such an awesome kid, he makes our days so fun!

He and Matthew are moving along in their relationship, too...Matthew is starting to really like having a little brother, and Nathan has always loved Matthew from the moment they met!  The two of them will disappear for ages into their bedroom and I'll hear them chatting away, and it seriously brings tears to my eyes all the time.  I pray they will be the best of friends.

Nathan's speech is coming along at a remarkable speed, although not many people outside of our immediate family get to hear it because he gets so quiet whenever we go anywhere!  He has started saying short sentences and it always surprises me - "Mama, help me!", "Matthew hit me!" (we hear that one a lot, even when I was standing right there and it obviously isn't true!), "I want that."

I'm so thankful for my little fire cracker :)  He has taught me so much about love and I can't imagine my life without him!

I-800a Approval!

I prayed today that we would receive our I-800a approval, and felt the disappointment when I opened the mailbox and realized it hadn't come, though I trusted that things are going along in His time, if not in mine.

Imagine my surprise when I checked my email this afternoon and had an email from our agency - the approval letter had been sent to them (apparently a copy is sent to us and to them) and it arrived today!

They will be sending it to be certified and authenticated, which sounds like it will take a couple of weeks, and then at long last we will be DTC:

DOSSIER TO CHINA!

This is a huge step and means we will be beginning our wait for LOA (Letter of Acceptance) which is basically China saying officially that they approve us to adopt Hannah!  After LOA I believe it is a couple more months until travel.  The wait for LOA can be anywhere from 30-100 days...will you pray with us for a quick LOA??? 

"...with God all things are possible." (Matt 19:26)

We know it, we've seen it, we believe it, and we are trusting in Him!

One step closer to our girl :)

Where to Start...

Life is busy as always...but it's such a good busy!

What have we been up to, let's see...well to start, we are busy packing, planning, making lists, looking at subway maps, and dreaming about our upcoming trip to Korea!  Two weeks, people.  How did this happen?  I feel like I have so much to do all of a sudden!  I am beyond excited though and every day the anticipation grows.  We are leaving on September 11th, taking the train and staying at a hotel near the airport, then flying to Seoul on September 12th.  We will spend three days in Seoul on our own (this is when we will meet with the boys' foster mothers!) and then we will be flying to Jeju Island (it is near the southern coast of South Korea) to join up with our tour group.  Our tour lasts 7 nights so I think we're gone for a total of 11 nights.

Jeju Island:



Beautiful?  Amazing?  I can hardly believe we get to visit such a beautiful place!



This weekend was a special "trial run" for us - we have been away from the boys for three single night trips this summer, and this weekend we did two nights away.  My parents stayed with the boys and I must say it seemed to go better than I could have ever hoped!  The boys did pretty well at night, slept through, and ran my parents ragged I think :)  The boys are pretty go go go, that's for sure!  It was great to spend time away with Brad, to be able to do some shopping for Korea, to watch 5 episodes in a row of E.R. (we've started at the beginning again), and to just not be needed at all!  Weird.

Yesterday, Brad and I were also able to meet with a group of families who are waiting to bring home children from Korea.  It was basically an informal discussion about some of the joys and challenges that come along with bringing home a child who is 18 months old to two years old.  It was a wonderful time to connect with other families, see some old friends, and reminisce about those early days when Nathan first came home.  Those really were some tough days!  I'm so thankful they are behind us!

In adoption news, we had our fingerprints done last week and we hope to get our immigration approval soon so that our dossier can go to China!  Time is flying by and I know our little girl will be home in no time.  I can't wait to have her in my arms!!!!  The other day I was talking to Matthew about how Brad and I are going to Korea soon, and he said, "And then Hannah will come home with you?".  I had to tell him that Hannah was in China, not Korea, to which he replied, "I wish she was in Korea!".  He talks about her all the time and really seems to want her to come home.  We'll see if he still feels the same after she arrives :)