Still "In the Waiting"

When we began our first adoption, a song on the radio grabbed my attention and my heart.

I will worship in the waiting
I will walk with this sand beneath my feet
Though the winter wind is blowing
The ground is not frozen underneath
I will worship and not grow bitter
'Cause I know You see the end of it all
And with the spring will come the rain
And I'll see what was gained
In the waiting

FFH - In the Waiting

This became the prayer of my heart during that time - that I would cling to the Lord, worship Him and not grow bitter, and that one day I would see what was gained in the waiting.

Here we are, back in the waiting again.  We started this adoption in the summer, and life seems to be flying by at an incredible pace.  I know our sweet girl will be here before we know it!

I find my heart so much more at peace with this process now.  There are fears, for sure.  I wonder how I will handle four little ones (just like I wondered how I would handle three!!).  I wonder how Olivia's health will be and what is down the road for her.  I wonder how our kids will adapt to another little sister (especially Hannah).  But covering all those fears, and calming them when they become overwhelming, is a peace that God has got this.  He has brought this little girl to us, and us to her, and He will not abandon us if (when) it gets hard.  So I rest in that.

This weekend we finished a ton more paperwork.  Our dossier documents are almost complete!  Our home study paperwork is just about finished.  We have one visit with our case worker and then hopefully she can get our home study done.  I have struggled with the paperwork this time around, much more than the other times for some reason.  I think that it's just that life is so much busier and I have been so tired from a certain little someone keeping us up at night :)  But we are getting there and that makes my heart happy.

We were blessed with a video and new pictures of Olivia a few weeks ago.  After finishing up some paperwork on Friday night, I sat down and watched the video again.  It is such a gift!  To see her with her foster mother, to know that she is loved and cared for, to see a little glimpse into her life...it's just so precious to me.  She is absolutely adorable, seems a little spunky, understands so much, and is obviously attached to her foster mother.  I fear for her little heart and how difficult the grieving may be for her.  She will be 2.5 years old when we bring her home, and that is a year older than any of our other children at homecoming.  I wonder what will be different, what will be harder or easier.  It will be different.

I am so thankful that whatever lies ahead, we know that the Lord will walk with us and help us.  We will not do this alone.  He is so faithful to us!  And I can't wait to get our girlie home :)